Camoflunks - S2 - Issue 2: Cheaters, Cheaters, Pumpkin Eaters! Well... They're Not Really Eating Pumpkins... But You Get What I Mean!

It's a relatively normal day for once, in fact, it's an above average day.  Rod got up and dressed before Coach started practicing on his trumpet, and, for a wonder, with plenty of energy.  He actually kept up with Mark and the other reasonably fit Reds on the obstacle course!

At breakfast, the food wasn't half bad.  The pancakes weren't burned, the eggs weren't runny, and the bacon actually tasted like bacon!  As unbelievable as it is, he breezed right through his chores without having to take a single break, (and got a lot more done than usual!)

Everything was going so smoothly Rod could have sang!  Well, maybe not in front of anybody, but he could have!

Heck, he probably would've made it through today's battle without the constant feeling that he was going to wet himself, that he had felt the first time.  In fact, he was eagerly anticipating the battle!

That's how the day was going, until...

"We're not going to be in the battle today?!"  Rod says disappointedly.

Mark says, "Yeah, whoever lost in the previous battle isn't involved in the next. Coach and the Doc flip a coin to see which of the other two teams faces the winners."

Rod asks in a resigned tone, "Well, who's gonna face the Greens today?"

"That'd be the Yellow team today, partner."

Rod looks in the direction the voice came from and sees a kid about Leo's age, Benjamin Crockett -- who's always claiming that he's descended from Davey Crockett, king of the wild frontier -- is a rather unimpressive wannabe cowboy, his black hair is about an inch long, and combed down flat against his head and his face and hands are the only parts of him that are tanned.  Over his hair, he's wearing a Stetson, and around his neck he has a red bandanna.  He is also so skinny, that his long-sleeved, red plaid shirt and blue jeans are simply hanging on him, and his boots have cobras drawn in marker on either side.  However, he makes up for his looks, (and the fact that he always needs to hike his loose pants back up so they don't fall down,) by being the sharpest shot and the fastest draw in the camp.

The first time Rod saw Ben was during the second day of camp, tailing Mark as they made their escape from the Green team's base with the flag... and then stepping on a land mine.

Mark asks, "They flipped already?"

"Flipped? They're already starting! We're gonna miss it if we just keep standing here!" Ben says urgently.

Mark, Ben and the others from the Red Cabins run from the field of outhouses that they were cleaning out, over toward the Manager's Cabin, Rod following with a puzzled expression on his face.

Just as they are about to turn the front-left corner of the cabin, Rod asks, "What do you mean, 'miss it?' I thought nobody but the teams that are fighting are supposed to be back there."

Rod's question is answered the moment they reach the front of the cabin, out on the front porch, -- which was built sticking out past the edge of the roof, sort of like a stage -- he sees that several dozen monitors have been set up, with wires running inside.

Rod's mouth moves, but no words come out.

Doc. Otto comes out of the Manager's Cabin, his hair is a greasy black mop and he has five o'clock shadow and green eyes.  The Doc's white tank-top is blotched with oil stains, and his black cargo pants have holes worn in the knees.

The Doc leans over by the monitors and plugs a few cords in, then stands up and presses the power buttons on all the screens.  One by one, slightly flickering images of different locations in the woods show up on the screens, and Rod's growing fear is realized, people had seen him as frightened as a mouse through the whole battle last week!

Mark looks around for a moment, then cups his hands around his mouth and says, "Hey Shawn!"

Shawn a slightly smaller version of his Dad, the Doc, sixteen years old and dressed completely in red, turns around at the sound of his name, and comes over from the front of the crowd of other campers.

"Shawn, I'm gonna go grab some snacks, fill me in on whatever I miss?"

"Sure."

Mark starts heading for the Cafeteria, then Shawn says, "Second thought, I never really like watching a battle anyway, just reminds me that I can't be in it. I'll go get the snacks."

Mark says, "Um, okay."

"Be back in a jiff!"



Sam and Eric, wearing camouflage suits and army helmets, run into the hangar where the small fighter-planes and mini helicopters are, followed by some of their team-mates. The two of them both run to the nearest jets and hop in. The others scramble to claim their own after tying a yellow cloth to their tail-fin, or to pile into a chopper.

Eric settles in and pulls out a coin, "K' bro, heads or..."

"Tails."

The same moment Sam says that, Eric flips the coin.

"Heads!" Eric announces after catching it.

"I'm flight leader this time, Sam, you're my wing-man, we're flying V formation. Ted, you take the other one, choose a wing-man, and follow my lead. Any questions?  No?  Good.  Let's move!"

By this time, all the choppers the others took are out of the way, so they take off.

Once outside, they veer up over the trees and fly toward the lake.



Back in the hangar, one of the Yellow team's members is still trying to start his plane!  He revs the engine a few times, "Come on, come on!"

Unfortunately, nothing happens.

Finally he just gets too frustrated, says, "Oh, forget this!"  He takes his gun back out of the cockpit and runs to catch up with anyone who went on foot.



Joe and those who he didn't set to guard the flag or provide air support, stalk through the underbrush of the woods, Joe, unlike mostly everyone else, isn't wearing a shirt.  Any girl who likes muscle-bound, action hero types would swoon at the sight of him... if not for the fact that he still has a nasty poison-ivy rash from the day before, which is even affecting his speech.

Soon they hear a loud buzzing noise, they look up, and half a squadron of fighter-planes flies overhead.  Suddenly, there's the sound of someone running through the bushes, and one of their own comes out.

"Jewwy, what are you doing hewe?" Joe says in a garbled, yet unnervingly calm voice.

"You'we ouw best piwot and, no offense, virtuawy usewess in a gwound fight."

"Stupid plane wouldn't start!  And the others were long gone, so I decided not to bother with a different one."

Joe ponders for a moment, then says, "Fine. You hewp them manage 'the bag." Joe points at three guys on a four-wheeler, one of them is at the handlebars, the other two are holding down a big burlap sack with something rather large squirming around in it.

Suddenly, a human hand thrusts out of the bag, and lifts one of the guys holding it down by the collar of his jacket.  Jerry rushes over and smacks it, it lets go of the guy and Jerry shoves the hand back in.

"I'm guessing that's Phil?" Jerry asks.

The guy driving the ATV mutters, "It was."



Shawn throws the doors of the cafeteria open and shouts, "Hey Auntie, you in here?"

A voice like chimes echoes from the kitchen, "Yes, I'm in here. What do you need?"

"The Greens are fighting the Yellows, we're gonna need some chips!"

"Oh of course, didn't the last one between them last three days straight?" She says as she searches the cupboards.

Unlike the other two lunch ladies, "Auntie," is young, about mid-twenties.  Her shoulder length hair is strawberry blonde and her eyes are blue.

"Ooh, here we go.  How about cheddar flavored?"

"Sure!"

Auntie reaches up to grab the chips, then suddenly she twitches, "AH! Oh, ow, ow!"

"What's wrong?" Shawn asks with a concerned expression.

"Nothing!  Nothing.  It's just a weak muscle in my back. I'm supposed to get a massage twice a week to treat it, I have one scheduled today, I've just been putting it off for a while."  She says reassuringly.

"Shawn, you can reach them can't you?"

"Yeah."

"Good, I think I need to drive down to Beatrice's so she can give me my massage for today. She's probably going to give me an earful while she's at it.  'You need to take better care of yourself!'  I won't hear the end of it for a week."

"Do you need any help getting there?"

"Oh no, I'm fine. It isn't quite as serious as it sounds. I'll be back later."

"Okay, if you're sure."  Shawn says just before the door swings shut behind her.

Shawn grabs the chips and shuts the cupboard, then starts hurrying back.

Halfway back, Rod comes running up to him, "I came to see what was taking you so long."

"It took me this long, because that's how it's written."

"...What??"

"I'd elaborate, but then I'd be breaking the fourth wall.  Isn't that right, reader?"  Shawn says staring up at the sky.

"Shawn, sometimes you outdo yourself at being weird."



"Pine leader to Chartreuse leader, anything yet?"  One of the Green team pilots says into his radio.

"Nope. Nothing here, Pine."

"Peridot, what about you?"

"The same... wait a minute.  Yellow-bellies at two o'clock!"

"This is Chartreuse.  Pine, Peridot, you scramble, I'll lure them in!"

"Copy that Chartreuse, Pine and Peridot out."

All but one of the Green pilots spread out and start flying up near their maximum altitude of two hundred and fifty feet, while the other one flies a few feet above the tree tops, towards the enemy.

The Yellows are just cruising along, then Eric says, "Ya' know, I'd think we would have found some Greens by now."

Then a Green plane pulls up hard in front of them, turns upside-down, and flies away to their right, back the way he had come.

"Whoa!  That maniac could've hit me!" Eric says, frustrated.

"Don't sweat it Eric, We got him!"  Ted says, turning to chase down the Green.

"Ted, wait!" Sam says as he and Eric veer their formation to follow Ted's.

Finally the Green jerks his plane vertical, with Ted on his tail.

They follow up and up and up, then realize they're surrounded by Green pilots!  Yellows fly in every direction trying to get away, but to no avail.  Whirling, spinning, weaving.  Nine Yellow team pilots, against fifteen Green.

"There go the twins." Leo says as Sam and Eric's planes disappear from the monitor.  One Yellow left, hounded by one of the remaining Greens, off away from his team mates.

The Yellow team pilot is veering this way and that, trying to shake his pursuer, but eventually, he's hit.  The plane goes into "crash-mode," the controls for the weapons on his plane lock, and he has five minutes to land before the engine dies and it can't be started up again.

The Green pilot flies a few circles to see if he can find his squad, but finds nothing.  He decides to return to base, and a few minutes short of it, sees Joe and his troops moving in on the base in force.

He swoops low, and drops a barrage of  "Gnat swarm" bombs on the invaders.  Many of the Yellow troops are left laying on the ground, itching all over.

After a few passes, he runs out of bombs, and flies back to base, though it isn't over for the surviving Yellows.  The noise of the bombing attracted the attention of nearby Green foot soldiers, who arrive in very short order, led by Jeffrey Harty leader of the Green team himself.

Normally dressed like a Carpenter, Jeff is sixteen and has the devilishly good looks of a hot-shot pilot from an eighties TV show, close cropped hair and a chin that you can't not notice.  Jeffrey's Achilles heel, is that his sense of direction is non-existent, he occasionally gets lost in his own house!

Acorns are flying through the air, and the Yellow team is on the verge of defeat, that's when Joe shouts, "Rewease the secwet weapon!"

In the few seconds that follow, no one outside of the battle can tell what's going on.  Green Cabiners are scattering in every direction and a blur rushes across the two screens showing the area.

Rod says, "What the heck!?"

Mark notices that in the corner of one screen, there's an ATV with three Yellow guys sitting on it, watching, and on the ground is a sack large enough to fit a full grown man.



Soon the battle is over, with the Yellow team the victors.  Most of the Green team members who come out look dazed, some even a little jumpy.

For a change, Jeff is actually with them instead of being lost back in the woods.  Mark runs up to Jeffrey and asks, "What happened in there Jeff?"

Jeff, with a shaken expression, says, "I'm really not sure Mark, it was so..."  Jeff shudders and keeps walking.



In Yellow Cabin One, Joe has the guys carrying the bag put it down and open it.

"Come on out Phiw."  Joe mumbles.

Out of the bag, crawls one of the most disturbing things, an average sized guy, (average by Yellow Cabin standards meaning huge,) with black, buzz-cut hair, four entirely black eyes, six, five-foot long arms and teeth all an inch long!

Joe says with a sinister smile, "Things awound hewe awe gonna get weaw intewesting."

Camoflunks - S2 - Issue 1: New Season!! Whoo!

At 6:30 in the morning, Coach gets out of bed and goes to the mirror hanging on the wall to the left of his bed and combs his hair, which doesn't take very long since it's only an inch and a half long.

He puts on his Red Sox cap, covering his gray hair, which is rather thin toward the front.

Coach brushes his teeth, puts on a short-sleeved olive green shirt, camouflage pants and combat boots.  As he's walking out the door of the Manager's Cabin, he picks up his trumpet.

He walks out onto the front porch and mutters to himself, "Now... what to play today? Hmmm... oh, perfect."

Coach lifts his trumpet and begins playing When The Saints Go Marching In. And hits all the wrong notes.



Rod covers his head with his blanket and groans as soon as Coach starts playing.

Everyone else gets up and starts getting dressed and eventually Rod throws his blanket off and starts getting dressed too.

As one of the other Red Cabin team members pulls his shirt on, he says, "I didn't know you could play When The Saints Go Marching In, in C minor."

Billy, a well-muscled kid with dreadlocks and a Jamaican accent, replies, "That's because you're not supposed to!"

Everyone in Red Cabin One starts laughing uproariously.

The only dress code requirements at camp is a pair of combat boots and an armband in your team's color.  Other than that, the kids can wear whatever they want, within reason.

Rod, thirteen years old, four-foot-eight, with longish red hair and gray eyes, is wearing jeans and a red t-shirt.

Mark, a five-foot-six African-American kid of sixteen with short black hair and brown eyes, is wearing dark gray cargo pants and a red sleeveless shirt.

And Leo, four feet and one inch tall, has short brown hair, blue eyes, a mole on his chin and wears a pair of rectangular glasses, a dark green button-up shirt and red shorts.

The reason behind why each of them is wearing at least one red article of clothing, is that after spending as much time at Camp Adanarg as they have, one starts always wearing team colors whether as a conscious decision or not.  Those who have gone there the longest can be picked out easily as they wear nothing but red, blue, yellow or green respectively at all times.

As each of the Reds gets dressed, they start slowly spilling out of their cabins and going over to the obstacle course.

Rod, Leo and Mark get there, and see that the others are, rather than running it, rearranging it!

Rod quirks an eyebrow and asks Mark, "Why are they moving stuff around?"

Leo replies, "Oh yeah, the first day we got here, Coach said that the course gets rearranged every Sunday, but you were so late that day," Leo suddenly stares off into the middle distance, as he is prone to do, "that you almost got locked out."

Rod's face turns a faint shade of red and he practically growls, "It wasn't my fault that that Bus broke down like, twice, on the way here!"

Then they hear Mark say from over by the climbing wall, "If you two are about done," Mark breaks off mid-sentence with a grunt as he and a few others start tipping it on it's side and continues saying, "we could use some help here!"



At the Cafeteria, everyone from the Red is rubbing sore muscles or cradling bruised limbs.  Rod and Leo are shuffling along the line at the food counter.

The first of the three aging lunch ladies, Beatrice, with her gray hair pulled back into a bun at the back of her head so tightly it's pulling the skin of her face taught, making her wrinkles barely noticeable. Which also increases her already commanding presence.

Beatrice always wears a cold, calculating look.  When you combine that with the fact that when she talks to you she has her head inclined so that she's looking down her nose at everyone, you feel as if she is a queen in her court, rather than a cook.

She asks in her high, though still intimidating, voice, "Pancake or waffle?"

"Pancake." Rod squeaks as though he's being interrogated.

Then they get eggs from Marge, Beatrice's younger sister, whose hair still retains a little blond in it.  Though she's the younger of them, Marge is almost always falling asleep, and often forgets where her glasses are even though they are usually perched on her head.

And finally, they pass by Auntie, who is stirring soup for later.  No one really knows what her name actually is, they just call her Auntie.

As soon as they sit down, Mark tells them to finish their breakfast quickly.

"Why?" Leo asks around a bite of pancake that could easily pass for a hockey puck.

"Because us and the Yellows have to go clear out the backwoods for the battle tomorrow."

Rod's voice, muffled by scrambled eggs with strange black flecks that he has already learned to ignore, says, "What are we supposed to be clearing out of there?"

Mark, finishes swallowing a gulp of milk and replies, "You know, gathering acorns for ammo and pinecones for the Doc to make into grenades.  Also, getting rid of thorned vines and thistles."

All Rod says in response is, "Ah."

Mark finishes explaining that they do this every week the day before a battle, and that the Blue and the Green Cabins did it the last time. The Greens doing more of the work than the Blues, under the tyranny of Mo.

After finishing their breakfast, they all meet up with the Yellow team outside of the fenced off area that takes up twenty of the twenty-five acres of the camp, where they have their battles with acorn firing guns and itching powder grenades and other things like that. The rest of the time, they go hiking back there or go swimming in the lake.

Joe Spivy, leader of the bullies and hooligans which make up all of the Yellow Cabins, one through four, says in his voice as deep as an avalanche, "About time you got here.  I was starting to think we'd have to do this ourselves.  And if we did, then I'd have to give you a black eye."

Joe's face looked a lot like a looming thunderhead when he said that last part.

Mark's responds, "Yeah well, unlike you guys, we didn't inhale breakfast."

Joe stands there for a moment with a foreboding look on his face.  Some of the Red cabin boys start worrying that they're all going to get pummeled, though none of them voice their concern.  Then suddenly Joe starts shaking with laughter, a noise very similar to the sound hippos make.

"You got us there, Mark.  Especially in Glen's case." Joe says, still laughing, and pointing over his shoulder at a guy even bigger than himself, who then gets an embarrassed look on his face.

Joe continues, saying, "The way he eats, you'd think he has a black-hole in his stomach!"

Now, Joe is seventeen years old and is six and a half feet tall, weighs three hundred pounds, and can lift four hundred!  He is very well tanned, has short, spikey orange hair and likes wearing leather, denim, and his barbed golden chain necklace.

Eventually they all get to collecting acorns and pinecones and clearing out unpleasant plant life.



A few hours later, the two teams are just wrapping up, when one of the Yellow Cabiners comes running over to Joe and says, "Um, Jozer?"

"What?"

"Phil's gone."

"What do you mean, gone?"

"Gone as in, he was there one moment, then he wasn't."

"Alright, show me where you saw him last.  Sam!  Eric!"

Two of the Yellow Cabin boys stop trying to pull a large thorn bush out of the ground and run over to stand in front of Joe.  They are completely identical in appearance, short blond hair, pale blue eyes and freckles.  Complete pretty-boys, and they're even dressed the same, denim shorts and white tank-tops.  The only way to tell them apart is that rather than wearing their armbands on their arms, they wear them like headbands, each with their name written on it.

"You're coming with me. Phil's gone."

"Yes, Joe." The twins say at the same time.



"It was here." The Yellow Cabiner says.

"Good, now you go take everyone back to the cabins. We can handle finding him."

"Got it!" He shouts over his shoulder as he runs back to where everyone's waiting.

He had led Joe and the twins to the edge of the fence surrounding the camp.  A place Sam and Eric know all too well.

Sam starts saying, "Uuuh, I don't think..."

"...this is such a good idea." Eric finishes.

Joe grunts, then climbs over the fence. Sam and Eric cast baleful looks at each other then follow Joe.

They keep walking through the forest and shouting Phil's name.  Then Joe trips on a large root and lands in a bunch of leafy plants.

Joe gets up and brushes himself off, muttering, "Stupid tree."

Then Sam says, "Hey uh, Joe..."

"Yeah?"

Eric points at the ground where Joe landed and says, "That's poison ivy."

Joe shrugs and says, "I'll be fine so long as I don't scratch."

The twins give each other quizzical looks and follow Joe as he continues walking.  They finally reach a clearing, with a small cliff rising over the trees on the other side.

Joe, already starting to look blotchy from scratching without noticing, walks into the clearing, raises his hands, cups them around his mouth and shouts, "Phil! Where are..."

Joe stops when he hears something climbing out of a horridly polluted looking pond.

"Phil?"

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 7: Yeah, You Probably Saw It Coming.

Sullenly getting up at the usual 6:30 am, Coach gets dressed, grabs his trumpet, walks out onto the Manager's Cabin's porch, and begins to play... even, worse!



"You, go get my laundry!  You, come here!  I said, come here!  C'me-'ere c'me-'ere c'me-'ere c'me-'ere, come here!  Come, here!" Mo Shouts.

Left and right, residents of the Red cabins slave away at order, after order from Mo, including Shawn, Rod and Leo.  Unfortunately for them, Joe's lease on the twins -and his patience- has expired, so Sam and Eric had been dragged back to the Yellow Cabins.

Rod and Edward are forced to drag big, heavy logs around and neither of them know what sort of torture Mo is putting Leo or Shawn through.  Eventually Rod says, "I really don't see, *Grunts* how this is accomplishing, *Grunts* anything! *Pants*"

"That's *Growls* the idea, *Gasps* amigo." Edward says through clenched teeth.

"Faster you two!" Mo barks at them.

They pick up the pace, for about five seconds until Mo stalks off.  Leaning against Red Cabin Two, Edward's older brother Carlos, traitor to the Red Cabins, keeps watch, making sure that nobody is slacking off and quite clearly enjoying watching everyone else doing stuff he doesn't have to!

Rod, about to direct a sneer at Carlos, looks over his shoulder... and stops.  He sees Brent talking to Carlos.  Carlos gets a perplexed look on his face, then Brent starts insisting on something.  Carlos nods, though he also looks skeptical, even... wary.

Brent looks around, pulls something from his pocket and slips it into Carlos' hand.  Brent's eyes lock onto Rod in a grim, suspicious way.  Brent leaves, whispering something into Carlos' ear as he passes.  Carlos takes a quick glance at what Brent gave him, shoves the camo-bucks into his pocket, and acts as if nothing out of the ordinary has just happened.

"Hey, uh, Ed? Could you..."

"Sure." Edward says, as Rod hands him the end of his log and Edward hefts it onto his back.

"Thanks."

"Don't, *Grunt* mention it." Edward then starts dragging both of them! If Edward had his teeth clamped shut before, now you wouldn't be able to pry them apart with a crowbar.

Then Rod sneaks -more like stumbles- into the trees, trailing Brent.



Meanwhile, Leo and Shawn are digging holes and filling them back in again.

"My name is Shawn and I'm digging a hole, diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole..." Shawn sings while he digs, he's also wearing an over-large bathrobe, a belt and a floppy, pointy cap so he looks like one of the Seven Dwarves.

Leo, sitting on the ground next to the hole with his hands over his ears and a frustrated look on his face, says in a irritated and slightly raised voice, "Are you done now?"

Shawn answers in a gruff voice, "Aye, I be done lad."

Leo exhales in relief, grabs his shovel and hops into the hole.

When the hole reaches four feet deep, they start filling it back in. While they're doing that, Leo asks, "So, how many times were we supposed to do this?"

"Ten," Shawn replies.

Leo gets a stricken expression on his face and looks at the patches of dirt marking the fifteen other holes they had dug and filled in already.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"

"Digging is too much fun to just stop at ten holes!" Shawn says with a smile.

"And when were you planning on stopping?!"

"Eighteen."

Leo groans and promptly falls flat on his face.

Shawn leans over him and says, "Uh, Leo?"

He waits a moment, then shrugs and goes back to filling in the hole... and singing.



Rod ducks behind a tree just as Brent whips his head around.

Brent sweeps his gaze over the trees and undergrowth behind him and seeing nothing, closes his eyes and listens.

"I know you're back there, I can hear you breathing."

Rod realizes how hard his breathing is and slaps a hand over his mouth, thinking to himself, "He is just, plain, freaky! The guy must be like, part... dog, or, something! Hmmm, maybe if I had a Milkbone."

Rod slowly looks around the tree, Brent has disappeared.

"Oh come on, where'd he go?"

Someone taps him on the shoulder, Rod turns around to find Brent standing behind him.

Brent holds up a pair of binoculars and says, "Try these."

Rod takes them and says, "Thanks!"

Rod leans out from behind the tree again and starts looking around, saying, "Alright, where did you run off to Bre..." Rod slowly turns back around to face Brent, swallowing nervously.

"Uh, hi?"

Brent replies in an annoyed tone, "Hi Ethan Hunt."

Rod looks around for a moment, then looks back at Brent and asks, "How do you do that?"

"My Uncle takes me rabbit hunting sometimes." Brent leans against a tree. "Now tell me, what are you doing?"

"I'm... talking to you." Rod says with an innocent grin.

Brent says in a monotone voice, with a blank face, "Don't make me hurt you."

Rod's eyes snap wide open at the threat then he sighs and says, "I was trying to figure out why Mo didn't find out about me almost getting him busted," Rod's face takes on a look of suspicion, "why you didn't tell him that I tried?"

Brent slouches in a resigned manner, now it was his turn to sigh, then silence for a few moments until Brent finally says, "This is going to seem really cliche, but... I'm an undercover agent."

Rod, looking rather surprised, says, "Wow, very cliche."



Leo and Shawn are just about finished filling in the sixteenth hole, Leo pauses for a moment to wipe the sweat from his face and notices that Rod is no longer helping Edward drag logs around.

"Hey Shawn, where's Rod?"

Shawn stops shoveling dirt and looks at where Rod and Edward were dragging the logs in circles in front of the cabins.  He and Leo are around the far end of Red Cabin four, where the other two can't see them.

"Beats me." Shawn says with a shrug.

"I think we should go find him."

"Eh, I guess." Shawn sticks his shovel in the ground and takes off his Dopey costume.

They try their best to slip away quietly, not an easy feat considering that between the two of them, they have all the stealth of a drunken rhinoceros!

They start their search at the Yellow Cabins, where after being noticed, they have to pay some of the Yellow Cabin's brutes twenty camo-bucks each, else the Yellows threatened to go tell some of the Blue Cabin gangsters that they had some escapees.

Next, they check by the Green Cabins, where they ask the first person whose attention they can get whether they had seen Rod around.

"Rod? You mean... Rod... Thomson?"

They can barely hear what the guy says over the sounds of hammers, saws and electric drills. The Green Cabiners, all naturally-born carpenters and handymen, are working on their bi-monthly repairs of their cabins.

"Yeah, have you seen him?" Leo shouts over the racket.

The Green ponders for a moment, then finally answers, "Not since breakfast. Why do you ask?"

"Nevermind."

"What?" The Green Cabiner asks.

Leo says, "I said, never mind."

"A little louder."

"I said... NEVER MIND!" Leo shouts at the top of his lungs... just as the noise stops.

Every boy in the Green Cabins stares at him like he's a rabid bear.

Leo's face starts turning red, and he says, "Uh, sorry. We'll, just be... going... now."

Leo and Shawn walk away at a quick pace and the noise soon resumes.  Finally, they come to the Blue Cabins and it seems that everyone from the Blue Cabins is off occupying themselves elsewhere.

Leo, stamping impatiently, says, "Where is he?!"

Shawn clears his throat and says, "Um, Leo,"

"What?!"

"Brent's coming." Shawn says, pointing in Brent's direction.

Leo lets out a strangled yelp and runs into the nearest cabin.  Shawn follows Leo in and closes the door behind him.

After regaining his composure, Leo kneels under one of the screen windows to listen and Shawn joins him.

They can hear someone saying something to Brent, but they can't make anything out until they've stopped right out front of the cabin Shawn and Leo are hiding in.

"...you sure the evidence against Mo is safe?"

Brent replies, "Yes Thomson, every bit I've found is hidden. No one who shouldn't lay their hands on it is going to find it."

Leo's face freezes in shock, "Rod is helping the Blue Cabins?!"

Shawn says in his best Yoda voice, "Crossed to the Dark-Side, he has. Nothing now to do, but bring to the Manager's Cabin, that evidence."

Suddenly, they hear Brent and Rod coming up the stairs, they quickly hide under two of the bunkbeds.

Brent's hand closes on the door knob and he starts to turn it, then stops.  He starts jiggling the knob.

"Stupid door knob's stuck again!  It's about time this thing gets fixed!"

Leo backs further under the bunk he chose, and feels something brush against his back.  He turns over and sees the corner of a piece of paper.  He pulls it out from between a board and the mattress, unfolds it and sees that it's the list of weapons Mo stole and sold to some kids outside of the camp.  Leo also finds several photos of Mo and his goons robbing kids.

Leo urgently whispers to Shawn, "Shawn, I found the stuff.  Let's get out of here!"

They just manage to open one of the windows and jump out before Brent gets the knob to work.  They run as fast as they can toward the Manager's Cabin to bring Mark the good news.



Brent and Rod stride toward the Blue Cabins to retrieve the evidence, while Brent finishes explaining the situation.

Rod asks, "So you have agents in all the camp factions?"

"Yep.  Our little organization was started not long after Mo became leader of the Blue Cabins"

"Does this spy, group, thingy of yours have a name?"

With a deep sigh Brent says, "Yes, we are the Secret Intelligence, Surveillance and Security In Emergency Situations."

"So you're the S, I, S, S, I, E, S?" Rod says, barely containing a smirk.

"Unfortunately... yes.  It was our leader's idea."

"And who is your leader?" Rod says with a giggle.

"Secret."

"Oh, *Teehee,* of course... Hahahahaha! Sissies! Heeheehee..."

"I will give you a black eye if you don't start acting seriously."

"...Eep!"

"Thank you."

After that neither of them says anything until the cabins are in sight, then Rod breaks the silence by asking, "How much evidence do you have exactly?"

"Enough."

"Okay, fine.  Are you sure the evidence against Mo is safe?"

"Yes Thomson, every bit I've found is hidden.  No one who shouldn't lay their hands on it is going to find it."

They start climbing the stairs of Blue Cabin one and when they reach the top, Brent turns the door knob, only to find that it won't go all the way.

Brent starts jiggling the knob while saying, "Stupid door knob's stuck again! It's about time this thing gets fixed!"

After assaulting the knob for half a minute, the door finally swings open.  Brent rushes over to one of the bunks and reaches underneath, after a moment his eyes go wide and his mouth hangs open.

Rod asks, "What?  What is it?"

"It's gone!  It's all gone!"

"Do you think it might have something to do with that window hanging open?" Rod asks, pointing toward the back of the cabin.

"C'mon Thomson, whoever took it can't have gotten far yet." Brent says, dashing out of the cabin.



Mo smiles.  It's his favorite time of the day, the part where he gets to make fun of Mark.  He opens the door to the prison room at the back of the Manager's Cabin.  Inside are the three cells where troublemakers are kept until they've learned their lesson, and in the one on the left is Mark, in need of a shave... and a shower!

Mark bounces a tennis ball against the wall and catches it again and again.  Mo leaves the door hanging open and walks into the prison room.  He need not close it, Coach is reading down by the lake and no-one else is there to overhear.

"Ahhhh," Mo sighs in amusement.  "Somehow, I don't think I'll ever get tired of this picture."

"Haven't you gloated enough for one lifetime?"

"No, not really, no.  I'm out here doing as I please, and you, the innocent one, are in here, doing nothing."

"Nah, I'm just waiting is all." Mark says in a bored tone.

"Waiting for what, exactly?"

Mark taps the side of his nose with his finger and says, "Ohhh, you'll see."

"Yeah, sure, if you say so." Mo says dismissively.

Outside the Manager's Cabin, Leo and Shawn arrive both out of breath.  They walk up the steps and through the door, they both freeze in place when they see Mo inside talking to Mark.

Leo whispers, "Alright Shawn, hand me the stuff."

"You mean the evidence?"

"Yeah.  What else would I mean?"

"I thought you had it."

"And I thought you had it!"

Leo starts grumbling to himself, then he notices the microphone on Coach's desk.

"Hey Shawn, I have an idea."

Mo is now crouching in front of Mark's cell, a foot from the bars.  On the other side, Mark is sitting on the floor the same distance away.

For a moment, Marks eyes seem to drift lazily looking over Mo's shoulder, then he looks back at Mo and asks, "So what have you been up to lately?"

"Oh, just the usual, robbing unsuspecting kids..."

All over the camp, everyone can hear Mo's voice over the P.A. system, "...causing general misery all around and, oh, you don't know this, but before you even knew I was up to no good, I was selling weapons to some homeless kids who roam around outside the camp.  There's a surprising amount of them out there and they're almost always arguing amongst themselves."

Mo stands up and turns to leave, but standing right behind him are Coach, Billy, the stranger with the black coat with the hood pulled up as usual, and Leo holding the microphone.

Mo clears his throat and says, "Ummm, I can explain?"

Coach with a sour look on his face says, "Oh, I'm sure it'll be an interesting story Mo.  Billy?"

"Ya, Coach-mon?"

"Let Mark out of there, will ya?"

Outside the Manager's Cabin, all the occupants of the Red Cabins are there.  Mark starts giving them all high-fives, then the stranger in the black coat walks out and meets up with Brent.

Brent salutes and says, "Well Boss, it seems you where right.  Mo didn't realize what hit him 'til it was too late.  Heck, we didn't see this coming."

The strangers says in their voice of indeterminate gender, "All that matters is it's over now."

The stranger turns to leave, but Rod blocks their path and asks, "So,who are you anyway?"

The stranger hesitates for a moment and then says, while trying to get past him, "I... I'm no one you need to know."

The stranger dashes around Rod, but he manages to grab them by the coat.  The stranger starts trying to pull it out of his grip and then in a desperate tone says in an absolute girl's voice, "Let go, Rod, honey, *Gasps.*"

As soon as Rod heard her say, "honey," he let go of the coat.  Everyone is staring her.  If their jaws went any lower, they'd fall off.

Maggie pulls off the hood and says, "Surprise?"

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 6: The Fuehrer, The Better

Early in the morning, Coach grabs his trumpet and starts playing "Take me out to the ball game."


"..Buy me some peanuts and Cracker-jack, I don't care if I never get back. Let me root, root, root for the..."

"Shawn! Shut, up!" Everyone shouts at once.

They start covering their heads with their pillows or burying themselves deeper in their blankets. The door crashes open and Mo steps in. He starts opening the blinds and says, around his ever-present toothpick, "Alright turkeys, I'm in charge of you now..."

After making absolutely sure -in all the rudest ways possible- that they're all up, Mo takes a "Flit Gun" filled with soot and starts pumping it, "... so what I want you to do, is get this cabin clean by lunch! Ha ha ha *cough, cough*... heh."

After thoroughly coating the place, Mo hefts the "Acme tool of mass bug destruction" on his shoulder and leaves with a satisfied look on his face, whistling, "I've been working on the railroad."

One of the Reds picks up a broom and starts sweeping.  Two others start taking the sheets off beds and everyone else focuses on brushing the soot off of themselves.

Rod makes a small, difficult to notice gesture with his hand.  Across the room, Shawn nods and slowly walks to the screen-window, he cups his hands around his mouth and goes, "CAW CAW! CAW CAW!"

Rod and Leo flinch.  Everyone stares at Shawn for a moment, before continuing what they're doing.  Rod and Leo breathe a sigh of relief.  Outside in the trees behind the cabin, a pigeon calls out.

Rod, Leo and Shawn crouch by the window.  Sam and Eric sneak up to the wall of the cabin, below the window.

Rod quietly asks, "So are you guys in, or what? You've had most of yesterday and all this morning to consider whether you'll help us or not."

Sam says, "Yeah.  Keep your pants on.  We'll help."

Eric adds, "We wanna get back at Mo for what he did yesterday."

Rod asks, "What exactly did he do to you yesterday?"

Sam, "After we got him angry..."

Eric, "...and started leading him to that crazy-stupid trap..."

Both, "...he called our mom ugly!"

"Oh." Rod says.

Rod, Leo and Shawn slowly make their way to the door. Everyone else is so absorbed in what they're doing, that they easily manage to slip out. The twins join them out front and they all run off.



Two Green cabin kids, one twelve, the other thirteen, are surrounded by a few Blue cabin flunkies. Nearby, Mo lounges on a tree-stump, watching.

Rod and company crawl to a nearby bush. Leo pulls out Mark's camera and turns it on.

One of Mo's thugs is pointing an acorn-gun at the twelve year-old, an "Eagle-eye V.10". The older kid hands over all his camobucks, then they let the two of them go.

Sam asks, "How many pictures did you get?"

Leo replies with a nervous look on his face, "The batteries are dead!"

Rod, Sam and Eric all exclaim, "What?!"

Suddenly, they hear Mo's voice from the other side of the bush, "Shush! I think I heard somethin'... over there!"

They hear the sound of one of the other Blue cabiners loading his acorn-gun, then a hail of fire erupts just over their heads. After a few moments it stops.

On one side of the bush, Mo listens intently. While on the other side, they're all frozen like statues.

Eventually Mo breaks the silence, "Eh... must be hearing things."

The gangsters leave, while behind the bush Rod, Leo, Shawn, Sam and Eric look at the leaves full of holes above them. They sigh with relief, all except Shawn, who thoughtfully stares at the leaves and says, "I wonder if bushes look like this in Switzerland."

They all return to the Red cabins and assist in finishing cleaning the place, except Sam and Eric. At the cafeteria, they begin plotting their next move.



Once again, the five of them are crawling across the ground. Ahead of them is Mo, one of his flunkies and someone else who is standing on the other side of Mo, where they can't see. They hide behind a large rock. Leo readjusts his glasses, reaches into one of his pockets, pulls out a tape recorder and presses the record button.

Mo, looking down at a clipboard, says, "Two 'Badger' grenade launchers, four 'Snakes-In-The-Grass,' three 'Scorpion' crossbows and five 'Squirrel' hand guns. Am I missing anything?"

"No, I don't believe so." Replies a voice they couldn't easily tell if it belonged to a boy or a girl.

Rod and the gang realize that Mo is smuggling weapons to someone outside of the camp. Suddenly, Rod notices a squeaking sound. He looks over at Leo and sees the tape coming out of the cassette.

"Um... Leo?!" Rod urgently whispers.

Leo looks at the recorder, stops it, and tries to wind the tape back up.

"Alright, I'm sure I heard something that time!" Mo says. Then he grabs one of the guns laid out for his mysterious customer, loads it and marches toward the rock.

Everyone, on either side of the rock, freezes. From somewhere nearby they can all hear a large, low growling sound.

That mysterious, half-boy, half-girl voice shrieks, "It's a bear!"

As Mo, his flunkie, and the owner of the strange voice - who turns out to be some person wearing a large, black trench-coat with a deep hood - run off, everyone looks in the direction the sound came from, and they see Sam and Eric, texting! (With the same phone.)

The twins notice the looks on everyone's faces and take on rather shameless ones.

Rod says, "Um, if you hadn't noticed, there's a bear nearby!!"

Eric explains, "Actually, that's our 'message-alert', tone."

"The sound of a bear growling?!" Leo says incredulously, while scratching his mole, located on his left temple.

Sam says, "We recorded it the time Joe had a peanut-butter and honey sandwich. A grizzly bear came and tried to get it from him. Suffice to say, that bear won't come within half a mile of Joe even if it's life depends on it!"

Rod gets up and announces, "Well, no use sitting here 'til Mo notices that we - who are close friends of Mark - are gone."

Eric chimes in, "Technically, we aren't his friends."

Sam, "Yeah, he's blackmailing us!"

Rod, "You're helping us. In Mo's mind, that qualifies."

The three Reds start running back to their cabin, and after looking at each-other and gulping, the twins follow.

When they get there, Mo is there as well. He turns around to glare at them as they enter the cabin.

"Alright, what have you boys been up to?"

"Oh that's simple, we've been trying to sp..." Shawn manages to say, just before Rod and Leo slap their hands over his mouth.

Rod forces himself to meet Mo's blizzard-cold stare - not quite perfectly - with a nervous grin, and says, "Nothing... just... getting some fresh air."

"Uh huh... I see." Mo says with a face that reads, "Imminent doom approaching, abandon ship now, or else!"

At that moment, Rod discovers what it's like to swallow nervously... when your mouth is as dry as the Sahara!

For the next few minutes, Mo scrutinizes each of them one at a time, first Leo, then Rod, then Shawn, then Leo again, then Shawn, and finally back to Rod.

At this point, the look on Mo's face changes to one that makes the earlier one look tame. The kind of look a headsman might adopt just before the stroke!

Mo begins raising his hand and says in a low, grim tone, "Alright." And the three of them can practically hear the ominous music playing, *Dun, DUN-DUN, Duuun!*

Mo points at Rod, and says, "You. Come. Wit'. Me."

Rod, with a combination look of, "terrified" and "vacant," points at himself.

Mo's eyes narrow and says, "Yesss, yoooou."

Mo leaves Red Cabin One, with Rod shuffling behind, and leads him to Blue Cabin One.

Mo, none-too-gently, shoves Rod through the door, and closes it slowly to make sure that it creaks as intimidatingly as much as possible.

"Alright, Randy, Richard, or whatever your name was, to make sure that you're not sticking your nose where it don't belong, you are going to clean. My. Collection!"

To punctuate what he says, Mo points at the far wall and Rod sees what "collection" Mo means. Hanging on the wall near Mo's bunk, a dozen frames hold pictures of all the most infamous gangsters from the past fifty years or more: Al Capone, John Dillinger, Machine-Gun Kelly, Baby-Face Nelson, Lucky Luciano, and some Rod has never even heard of.

"Dust the frames, straighten the photos, polish the glass and when you hang them back up, make sure they are level!" Mo says. He then marches out and shoves Brent, his number-one bruiser, into the cabin and says, "Watch him! I've got some 'business' to take care of still."

When Mo said "business" the way he did, images flashed into Rod's mind of hitmen, concrete shoes, and matters that are dealt with "real permanent like."

So for the next half an hour, Rod does the best he can to make things orderly: dusting, polishing, et cetera.

After a while, Mo returns, with a blank expression he looks over what Rod has done so far, nods and then leaves. As Rod tosses out his third disinfecting wipe, he sees something familiar. Crumpled up, at the bottom of the trash bin, is the checklist - in Mo's handwriting - of the weapons smuggled out of the camp!

Quickly, Rod thinks up a way to distract Brent. Rod opens one of the screen windows, Brent's eyes narrow and his fists clench. Brent has blond hair though it's hard to tell because it is buzz-cut, his eyes are gray and he wears jeans and a blue football jacket.

After opening the window, Rod sticks his head out. Waits and then finally shouts, "Hey, Leo what are you doing out there?!"

Brent dashes out the door. Rod reaches down and picks a large rock off the ground. As soon as Brent is just about to come around the corner, Rod tosses the rock toward the trees and under-brush. Brent hearing the sound, rockets its direction to pursue the elusive intruder.

Rod swiftly pulls the checklist out of the garbage, folds it and stuffs it in his pocket. After that he quickly finishes re-hanging the pictures. By the time he's done, Brent comes back, picking twigs and leaves off his clothes.

Seeing that Rod is done, Brent checks his wrist-watch and says, "Okay, boss says that once you're done you can go."

Rod nods meekly to hide his smug grin and starts for the door. As he walks down the steps, Brent plucks the evidence out of Rod's pocket, shaking his head. He wags his finger at Rod, saying, "Oh no you don't."

Rod stares at him with an expression of shock. This is the guy who easily fell for the "Whatever in the world could that be?" trick.

Brent makes a shooing motion with his hand and says, "Best that you not be getting into what you can't see going on." He then sniffs the paper, makes a sour face and mutters to himself, "Did he seriously dig this out of the garbage?"

Brent walks back into the cabin, leaving Rod standing there wondering how much intelligence is masked by that tough, jock-ish face.

By the time Rod finishes lumbering back to his cabin, Mo has already dished out another half-dozen things for the boys in the Red Cabins to slave away at, sometimes twice over, including but not limited to the chores of every member of Mo's gang, known and unknown.

Leo, from his spot on one of the top bunks, asks, "Say, uh, Rod? What exactly did Mo do to you?"

Rod emerges from his brooding and replies, "Nothing much different from you guys' treatment."

Leo ponders for a moment and asks, "Hey! Did you manage to get something, anything incriminating?"

"Almost." Rod says in a sulky, whiny, self-disappointed tone.



Mark, sitting against the back wall of the rather shoddy cell in the room at the back of the manager's cabin with his eyes closed, contently hums "Eye of The Tiger."

The door to the cell-block room opens and Coach sticks his head in. Wearing the humble look of a man who feels guilty about what he's done to a boy he feels like a father towards, he says, "Mark, th-there's... someone who wants to see ya."

Coach withdraws, leaving the door wide open. Just outside is someone wearing a black trench-coat with a deep, concealing hood. Talking to the stranger is Brent from Blue Cabin One, who slips what appears to be a folded piece of paper into a gloved hand, which disappears into the stranger's pocket.

Brent, surprisingly for a guy of his build, slinks away. After a moment, the stranger turns and walks into the room, shutting the door behind themselves.

The figure crouches by the bars and says in whisper, "All is prepared for tomorrow. Mo won't know what hit him 'til it's too late!"

Mark says, "I'm not sure I want to talk to someone who works for Mo. I saw you talking to Brent."

The stranger replies in an amused tone, "Who said him or I work for Mo?"

Mark raises an eyebrow and asks, "Who are you? And what are you talking about? Tomorrow?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Then the stranger giggles in what can only be a girl's laugh.

Marks eyes go wide as dinner-plates when he realizes who that laugh belongs to. Then, he smiles.

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 5: Didn't Make it, Just Impacted!

As usual, everyone wakes up groaning when Coach starts playing his trumpet.  This time it is "Cavalry Charge".


Mark, Rod, Leo, Shawn and Billy, who could pass for Mark's younger brother except the Jamaican accent makes it obvious they aren't related, bolt from the cabin at a dead run.

Mark tilts his head toward Billy and says, "Billy, you go get Coach, we'll take care of the rest."

"Sure thing, Mon," he says, not breaking stride.  He heads off in the direction of the manager's cabin.

Rod nearly trips when he looks at Mark and asks, "You really sure this is a good idea?"

"Do we want Mo's reign of terror to end?  Then what better way to lure him in than this?"

"I know, but Sam and Eric don't really seem like the 'team player' types.  Except with each other."

"Relax.  I think I can persuade them."

Soon they arrive at the Yellow cabins, where most of the occupants are lounging around.  One pair of particularly muscled guys are wrestling, without their shirts.  Another is holding up a punching bag, while the other is hitting it.  Rod notices that, hanging over the door of number one, is a skull, clearly fake, but intimidating nonetheless.

Mark jogs up the stairs to the door of Yellow cabin one, bangs on it and says, "Hey Jozer!"

While they wait, Leo asks, "Jozer?"

Mark replies, "That's his nick-name."

"Who?"

"Joe."

"Why is he called that?"

"Cause it sounds like 'dozer."

Leo gulps and says, "L-Like in b-b-bulldozer?"

The door is opened by a seventeen year-old guy with a really good tan, spiky orange hair, is about six and a half feet tall and weighs three hundred pounds!  Most of it muscle, the rest, a force you don't want to be in the way of!  Joe Spivey, leader of the Yellow cabins, wearing pitch-black combat boots, jeans, half-finger leather gloves, a golden barbed chain necklace and a sleeveless denim vest, over a yellow t-shirt.

"What do you want?  I'm kinda in the middle of something and this is the fifth time I've been interrupted," Joe says in an exasperated tone, with a voice so deep, you'd think a tuba was talking.

Inside, Mark sees a row of chairs occupied by more muscle-bound Yellow cabiners, writing in notepads.  In front of them, is a kid with an agonized look on his face, tucking his underwear back into his pants.  On the wall, is a marker-board that reads, "Today's lesson: Proper wedgie technique."

Mark looks up at the skull, and asks in a sarcastic tone, "Is that one of your recent victims?"

Voice rolling like thunder, Joe replies, "The only victim involved with that was my thumb. Stupid hammer. Now what is it you want?!"

"We need to borrow the twins." Mark says.

"Fine."

"Great... Wait! What?"

"Fine."

"Your two best troublemakers, and you're gonna... let us have them?  Just like that?"

"Yeah, they've been getting on my nerves all day!"

"Um... ookay."

"Sam!  Eric!  Get out here!"

In unison, the two of them rush over from their bunks wearing rather amused grins, salute, and say, "Sir, yes Sir!"

Joe scowls at them, their stances become more rigid, at attention, and their smiles melt away.  Joe then proceeds to push them out the door and say, "Mark's in charge of you 'til he says so.  Now go!"

The door slams behind them with a resounding bang and they turn around to face Mark, Rod, Leo and Shawn, who's been distractedly watching the sky for the last few minutes as if it were going to drop on him.

After they all walk down the stairs and away from the front of the cabin to let people through, the twins cross their arms and glower at them.  Sam starts, "Why should we do..."

"...anything you tell us to?" Eric finishes.

Mark pulls out a wad of camobucks, and a greedy, mischievous light enters their eyes, and Mark says, "Ten cams' for each of you."

"What exactly do you..."

"...want us to do?" They say in a non-convinced, hesitant manner.

"You two are the MOST annoying people we know and you're going to help us trick Mo into blabbing the truth, right where Coach can hear."

Sam, "Oh no, no..."

Eric, "...there's no way you..."

Both, "...are going to rope us into this!"

Mark snaps his fingers, and Shawn, who seemed to have disappeared while they were talking, shoves his way between the twins, walks up to Mark, and hands him a journal he had hidden under his shirt.

Mark holds it up so the pranksters can see it and their eyes nearly pop out of their heads.

"I'm sure Maggie would like to know how you guys managed to replace the helium in the balloons at her tenth birthday party with 'sulphur hexafluoride."

Mark flips the page and says, "Or then there's the time you..."

Mark reads ahead and after a moment, grimaces, "...put itching powder on the shoulder straps of her bikini?! That was you?!"

They flinch, get down on their knees and start begging him to spare them, so pale with terror that one could see the freckles on their identical "pretty-boy" faces, from fifty feet away.

"We'll do anything you ask!" Sam says.

"Anything?" Mark asks.

"Anything!" Eric says.

"Well then, Waldorf and Statler, you're going to..."


"I can't believe we're doing this!" Eric complains as they're headed toward the Blue cabins.

"That's what happens when you promise them, 'anything'!"

"You said 'anything' first!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

Suddenly, Eric notices movement in the trees behind his brother and looses a startled yelp. Sam spins around and asks, "What did you see?"

"I dunno!"

Sam sighs, looks over his shoulder at his twin and says, "Brain damage!"

Sam looks back at the trees, and after a few moments they both jump, when they see something move somewhere deeper in than before.  They look at each other, then at the forest, then at each other again.  Finally, they both go charging into the undergrowth to investigate.

Whoever or whatever it is they're chasing is fast enough that all they see of it are just brief glances ahead of them, enough that they can still follow it, but not enough to see who or what it is.  They end up hopping the fence to continue pursuit, but eventually they lose the mysterious figure all-together.  The two of them continue to wander around, to see if they can spot it again, and finally give up when they reach some random clearing in front of a small cliff-side in the woods.  As they head away from the clearing, back under the trees, they hear a twig snap and Eric turns around, looks up and points.  Sam looks, standing at the top of the cliff looking over the edge, is the shadowy figure of a man.

The mysterious stranger doesn't seem to notice their presence, he turns and bends over to lift something.  When the stranger turns around, he bends over again to set down a large object, and tips it over.  They realize that the object is a metal barrel, which starts emptying itself of its contents.  Some weird blue gunk lands in a pool of water in the clearing.  Over the course of the next several minutes, the man dumps two more barrels out.  The second had some red slime in it and the third had some gelatin-like purple stuff.  After that, the stranger uses one hand to dump out three bottles of some greenish stuff too, and then disappears.

They walk to the edge of the pool and look in.  The "water" seems to be boiling and looks like some trippy sixties rainbow effect, which is in stark contrast with the half-melted old tire, the beer bottles, the toilet-seat and the dead animals.

As they're walking away, Sam says, "Are you thinking what I'm think..." (SMACK) something thrusts out of the ground in front of his feet and slaps him in the face, cutting him off, mid-sentence.

"AAAUUGH! MY NOSE!" He says clutching his face and recoiling in pain.

They both scream like little girls and run a hundred yards away from the pool and the discolored ground around it, before they feel safe. Sam's nose is bleeding and has a large bruise forming.

When they catch their breath, Eric says, "Yes, Sam. I was thinking what you were thinking.  We never speak of this again."

"Agreed."



Meanwhile. Billy sees the manager's cabin ahead and picks up the pace.  He throws the door open and sweeps his gaze over the room and spots Coach.

"Coach-Mon, there's something you need to see! Quick! Come on!"

"Billy, what is it? Why the rush?"

"No time for questions. Hurry!"

"Alright, alright. I'm comin', relax," Coach says, getting up from his chair.

They jog out the door, then toward a point halfway between the Red and Blue cabins.

Before they reach their destination though, Coach has to take a break, "I haven't done this much running since 'Nam. No wait, I wasn't in 'Nam."

"We have to hurry!"

"Okay, Billy, okay. Just give me four minutes."

"Ugh."



Mark shifts his feet impatiently, soon Coach would be here.  Coach would hide behind a bush and when Mo comes tearing around the trees in such a foul mood that when Mark starts chastising him, he'll blab til' the cows come home.

All of a sudden, he can hear Mo shouting after Sam and Eric.

"No! They're not supposed to be here yet! What's taking Coach so long?!" Mark mutters angrily to himself.

The twins come racing around the bend, terrified looks on their faces, with Mo not far behind, going berserk with a "Beehive" rapid-fire acorn gun!

Sam and Eric run past him and keep going.

"Cowards!" Mark says at their backs then turns to face Mo.

Mo stops in front of Mark and hefts his weapon, saying, "Alright, Colonel Sanders, why were those chickens hassling me?"

"They were supposed to see if you were up to anything," Mark lies.

Mo's eyes flick over Mark's shoulder and quickly back to his face, then he drops his gun on the ground.

"What are you doing?" Mark asks.

Mark picks the gun up and asks, "Seriously, what are you playing at?"

From the bushes nearby, Shawn shouts in an almost perfect impression of Erik Bauersfeld's original performance, "It's a trap!"

"Not right now, Shawn." Mark says.

Mark then points the gun at Mo and asks, "Seriously, what do you want to have happen here? You want me to shoot you with this or something? You think I'm out for revenge? Come on, answer me! Why are you grinning like tha..."

"Mark! Put that down!" Coach says as he walks into the clearing.

"Coach, wait I can explain..."

"I think I've seen enough, Mo get some of your guards and take Mark to my office." Mo immediately starts shouting orders at his nearest henchmen.

The Blue Cabiners come over and restrain Mark, who even as he's dragged off continues trying to convince Coach that he's innocent.

Mo puts a hand on Coaches shoulder and says, "You did what was best Coach, for a long time I've had some suspicions about him. In fact, I just found out that he's made everyone in the Red Cabins into a bunch of low-down dirty crooks, they rob, they bully, and just cause all sorts of havoc behind our backs."

With a shocked and disappointed look on his face, Coach sighs and says, "Until a new leader has been elected, Mo is in charge of the Red cabins." Mo starts leading Coach back to the Manager's Cabin, assuring him that everything would be fine, though Coach still sullenly says, "And I thought Mark was such a good kid."



Mo enters the managers cabin, goes to the back of the main room, through a door, and into the "Jail". In one of the nearest cells, sits Mark.

"Well, well, well... well." Mo says, trying to hide his mirth.

"Is that all you can say? 'Well'?" Mark says with a mildly annoyed face on.

"I... win... again! Ha ha ha ha ha... (sigh)"

"Yes, Mo.  You've won again, but like every time before, you've only won a battle."

"And that's supposed to mean something?" snickers Mo.

Mark's hand shoots out and grabs Mo by the shirt, pulling him up against the bars so their faces are inches apart and he says, "It means you may have the battle, but the war is mine!"

"Whatever you say, Mark. Whatever you say." Mo says in a "freaked-out" tone as he leaves.

Mark smiles at the door and says triumphantly, "It's just a matter of time."

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 4: Seeing Double!

Jeffrey Harty trudges through the forest, leaning heavily on a branch he's made into a walking stick. He has been doing this for two days straight, ever since the battle. While he and his teammates were walking back to the camp, he stopped to retie his boots and when he finished, everyone else had left him behind.

"It's a darn good thing I brought sandwiches in case this happened or else I would've ended up eating berries, again!" He grumbles as he steps over the same log for about the third time this morning.

"From now on, whenever I go someplace where I can get lost easily, I'll tie a rope between me and anyone with a sense of direction."

He'd tried following the paths. The way they always split off and twisted was bad enough, but the fact that he didn't know which direction the camp was in or which way he was facing at that moment made things even more confusing.

Jeff freezes. In the distance he hears a really bad rendition of "Yankee Doodle" being played on a trumpet and he smiles, "Saved by the bell, and when I say 'bell', I mean 'trumpet'. And when I say 'saved', I mean, well... saved."

He shrugs and follows the sound to the fence and climbs over.

During breakfast at the cafeteria, Leo asks Mark, "So, why is it that the Blue cabins seem to have free reign to use any kind of weapon, whenever they want?"

Mark raises his voice to be heard over the noise coming from the Green cabins' table, as Jeff steps through the door.

"Simple. Shortly after he became leader, Mo convinced Coach that he was arranging a sort of camp security group and Coach agreed, on one condition. Should anyone need to borrow weapons, they have to supply the ammunition themselves and they have to return it before a battle takes place."

"Security?! What a load of bologna!" Rod says.

"His excuse was that they'd take care of any animal problems and make sure that nobody broke the camp rules."

"Since then, those who dwell in the Blue cabins have become even less desirable company than the troublemakers in the Yellow cabins," says an eerie voice from under the table.

Everyone at the table simultaneously looks underneath, except Mark, who says, "Shawn, what are you doing under there, this time?

"Aliens are trying to contact me through morse code by making one of the overhead lights buzz and it's giving me a headache!"

Nobody pays any mind to it, except Leo, who looks up and sure enough, one of the lights is blinking, not that Leo can tell if it's doing it in code or not.

Leo asks, "The Yellow cabins? Troublemakers?"

"If you hadn't noticed, those fellows en las barracas amarillas consist mostly of muscle-heads and pranksters," says a guy with his dark-brown hair in a ponytail, wearing loose gray jeans, cowboy boots and a dark-red long-sleeve shirt, buttoned up all the way, with the collar turned up.

"Who are you?" Rod asks.

"My name is Edward Velez, amigo. That backstabber, Carlos, is my older brother."

Everyone finishes breakfast and heads back to their own cabins. Before he steps out, Mark takes a quick look at the malfunctioning light.

".. ... | .- -. -.-- --- -. . | --- ..- - | - .... . .-. ." (Is anyone out there?)

He blinks in surprise and looks around to see if anyone else saw. No one else is there anymore.  He shrugs and shakes his head, then jogs to catch up with everyone.

By the time he does, they're almost to the cabins, and Edward, amid everyone snickering, is saying in a very monotone voice, "There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

At that, everyone bursts into fits of laughter.

"And that's why they call me Eddie 'Deadpan' Velez!"

"How do you keep from cracking up?" Shawn asks.

"Years of practice, hombre."

Suddenly, one of the guys says, "DUCK!"

Shawn pulls out a switchblade and asks, "Where?!"

"No! Duck for cover! It's Sam and Eric!"

Everyone scrambles to get out of the way, as two fourteen year-old's, holding on to each other's feet to form a human wheel, roll in. They spring apart and land on their feet, laughing in an amused fashion the whole time.

In appearance, the two of them seem to be absolutely identical in every way, the same white tank tops, blue-jeans, heelies, the same bleach blond hair, blue eyes, freckles, and an all around jock-ish, pretty-boy, look about them, they even wear their yellow armbands, as headbands instead. The only way one can tell them apart, is that they have their names written on their "headbands" in marker.

"Sheesh Sam, did you see the way they ran for it? Almost as if..."

"...they don't like us very much." Sam finishes, both of them speaking sarcastically with smug grins on their faces.

Sam says, "One has to wonder..."

Eric picks up, "...why that could be?"

Then Sam picks up one end of a string, they glance at it and their smiles go from smug to maniacal and they both say, "Oh! That's right!"

Sam tugs it and they go cartwheeling off out of sight, laughing mockingly. A small catapult, hidden behind a bush, tosses a bucketful of rotten eggs at the cabins.



"Those two, are the worst twins in the whole history of twins!" Rod says loud enough that anyone else using the showers can hear him.

"With all these interruptions to deal with, how are we supposed to do anything about Mo?" Leo asks from inside one of the other showers.

While running a towel through his hair, Mark says, "Simple, we set a trap. Mo slips up, and we make sure that Coach is there to see it."

As he's rinsing his hair, Leo dramatically stares into the distance and says, "Sounds like fun. So what's the plan?"

Mark replies, "Give me 'til tomorrow and I'll probably have something."

"You mean, you don't even know what we're going to do yet?" Rod asks.

Mark grins at his reflection in the mirror and says, "Nope! Oh, and Shawn?"

"Yes?"

"How did you convince Coach to let you keep that switchblade?"



Meanwhile, over at the Blue cabins.

Everyone is trying to dodge an unexpected volley of rotten eggs. One lands on Mo's hat and he starts shouting, "Whoever did this is a @$!6^*$#* ing *&7#%@3@+ lorinipsum =#^@1^!^@*&$*9#!?=~ abnivinium $^\}&@4*$9^@ tlllagulaf *~7<^$#%![2`^# hippopotamus *$^&@:#*%^ republican []*&8#^%4*&#%** with Daniel Radcliffe }*$^*_+$&^@?5!/|<*$%> and a bucket of }*$^6#?<!5%#$=2&* in a castle, far away, where no one can hear you }3^*@&^!@+/)7%#} soup {(#^@*%>!$*** with a bucket of +*^@%$!?~?<><* Mickey Mouse *#*^9^&!@6^/* a stick of dynamite *!&$9^@^$#?0{*%# magical %!*2%&#@%?/"+* alakazam!"

Everyone present stares at Mo like he recently escaped from a psych ward, and then try to make it look like they weren't staring when he notices.

"Alright, did anyone see who did it?" Mo asks.  Everyone shakes their heads in unison.

"Nobody?! Hmm... I'll bet it was Mark, that wise-guy!" Mo growls in frustration and says, "This is it boys, this is war!"

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 3: Bluefellas

Rod wakes with a start, as Coach begins to play Reveille on his trumpet, rather badly and loud enough for the whole camp to hear. Rod had been lucky enough to be spared the rude awakening yesterday, since Mark had gently woken him up before Coach started practicing, which Coach apparently does every morning. So far as anyone knows, he hasn't ever gotten better.

After getting dressed and stopping by the cafeteria, Rod and the rest of the Reds start running the obstacle course. While quickly stepping through the tires laid on the ground, Rod asks Mark, "So we have to do this every day?"

"Pretty much."

"Is there any way we could not do it?"

"Only if you're sick, doing chores or Jeffrey Harty after an excursion out back." Mark finishes saying while pointing in the direction of the Battlefield.

With a confused look, Rod asks, "Speaking of Jeff, where is he? I didn't see him at breakfast... In fact, I haven't seen him at all since yesterday. Did he get abducted by aliens or something?"

As they're climbing over a wall with a knotted rope, Mark explains, "Jeffrey Harty probably has the worst sense of direction the world has ever known. He can't find his way anywhere, even with a path right under his feet. Chances are, that after the battle yesterday, he was separated from everyone else and got lost,  again!"

"Shouldn't we be looking for him then?"

"Nah. Every time this happens, he always manages to find his way back, albeit with a few bumps and bruises and in real need of a bath, but he comes back nonetheless."

They get down the other side of the wall and start vaulting, with one hand, over picnic tables, Rod none too successfully. Upon finishing, they get to the last obstacle, where they have to swing over mud (for some reason). Mark makes it across easily, whereas Rod ends up dragging his feet through the mire.

As they head toward the cafeteria for lunch, Mark sees movement behind a cluster of trees and brush. Mark puts a hand on Rod's shoulder and he raises a finger in front of his mouth and motions with his head in the direction of the trees. They crouch and sneak over. Peering from behind a bush, they see a kid, about twelve years old, with a yellow armband, surrounded by teenagers with blue. Among the blues is Mo and one of the others is holding a "Squirrel V.52" handgun.

"We can either do this the easy...", Mo manages to say just before the kid pulls out his wallet and hands him a stack of rectangular pieces of camouflage colored paper with pictures of acorns on the front (camobucks). Mo looks down at it in surprise and says, "Well that was easy." And after taking it, begins saying, "Remember now..."

"If I spill my guts, you know where I live. Got it!", the yellow cabiner says quickly and runs off, occasionally tossing back nervous glances, in case they decide to chase him.

"It ain't fun when they finish your sentences for ya!" Mo says with an agitated look on his face. The other three stand there with blank faces, staring at the ground and nodding in agreement.

"What? You just gonna stand there wit' them dumb looks on your faces? Get goin', com'on, com'on! Move it!"

They all snap out of it and start running back toward the blue cabins, trying to avoid the kicks that Mo aims at their shins.

Once they're out of sight, Mark and Rod rise from their hiding place. Rod says, "Man, I wish we could've stopped 'em!"

Mark holds up a camera.

"This good enough for you?"

Rod gets a smug grin on his face, "You, Sir, are awesome!"

Mark looks through the pictures and says, "Finally nailed you, Mo."

At the cafeteria, the whole red cabin table is abuzz in no time after Mark starts showing around his pictures of Mo caught in the act. Leo asks Mark, "What it is that Mo's been doing?"

"For the past few years, he's been robbing everyone he can manage to corner, even members of the blue cabins, any that haven't joined his mob yet. Some say he even has members of other cabins in his little mafia."

While everyone else is looking at the pictures, a guy wearing a red armband breaks away from the group and sneaks over to the blue cabin table.

"Well, if it isn't the self proclaimed 'Ladies Man'.What is it Carl?" Mo asks the fifteen year-old, Spanish kid with a mullet, wearing skinny jeans and a jacket, unbuttoned to let his muscular chest show.

"For the last time, my name is Carlos, Sir, and it seems you didn't come away completely clean when you robbed the yellow cabin punk."

"How do you know about that?" Mo turns his attention to the three goons closest to him, "Which one of you's been blabbing about it?!"

Carlos says, "Mark was watching you do it and took pictures."

"Dang it!" Mo nearly shouts, then looks around to see if anyone heard. Soon he focuses his attention back on Carlos and whispers, "Carlos, I need you to get those pictures away from him before it's too late."

"Yes, Sir!" And Carlos slinks back over to the red cabin table.

Beatrice, one of the lunch-ladies, rings a bell and says, "Alright, lunch time's over. Everyone finish up and go about your business."

As they're leaving the cafeteria, Rod asks Mark, "So what happens when you tell Coach about Mo?"

"His leadership of the blue cabins will be revoked and they'll elect a new guy. Mo will spend the next few weeks mopping the cafeteria and cleaning the outhouses. The camobucks the blue cabins have will be equally divided among the other cabins, too."

Suddenly, Leo drops on his knees and starts groaning, "I don't feel so good."

Rod kneels beside him and sees how pale he is, making his one mole, on his chin, even more prominent. Mark and Rod help Leo up, then Shawn walks over, "Hey, you look like you've had a little too much mystery meat!"

Leo asks, "Is that what it was?"

Mark says, "We gotta get him to the nurse's office. Shawn you can help."

The three of them carry Leo to the nurse's office and just as they approach the steps, a voice behind them says, "I'll get the door, Amigos."

Mark replies, "Thanks, Carlos."

Carlos opens the door and they haul Leo through and put him on the table. Maggie, who was listening to Anna Blue on her MP3 player, stands up and asks, "What's wrong?"

Mark says, "I don't know. We were just at lunch. He ate an apple, some raw carrots and a ton of the mystery meat."

"Ptomaine poisoning, just great! Bad news is my Mom is at the Doctor's for a checkup. Good news is she mixed up something for this, just before she left." Maggie, half skips, half walks, over to a shelf and grabs a bottle, pops the top off and pours some of the liquid into the cover. While she's doing that, Carlos sneaks over to where Mark had carelessly put down his camera and snatches it.

Maggie says "Leo, Honey, you're gonna have to drink this... here." Leo swallows it and almost coughs it back up.

"He should be fine in about half an hour, but he'll need plenty of rest."

"Thanks, Maggs," Mark says. Carlos heads for the door and says, "Well, I have some business to take care of. See you all later!"

As Carlos passes Maggie she gives a yelp when he lightly spanks her and says with a smile, "Nice job Mejillas Dulces!"

Maggie's hand moves like lightning as she seizes the back of Carlos' mullet, puts on a bone-chilling smile and says in a scarily sweet tone, "Carlos, Honey, if you ever do that again, I swear, you'll get such a swift kick you-know-where that your voice won't stop squeaking, for a year."

Carlos, looking like he's either about to scream, or cry, says, "Si Senorita!!"

Maggie lets go, and Carlos runs like a pack of wolves is on his heels.

"Darn that pretty-boy!" Mark says.

Everyone looks at him and Shawn says, "Yeah nobody treats my future girlfriend that way!" He shakes his fist in the direction Carlos went.

Maggie asks, "And what makes you think I'm ever going to be your girlfriend?"

"Uuuuuuuuuuhhh..."

Mark interrupts by saying, "No, not that. Don Juan there just took my camera!"

Mark, Shawn and Rod, charge after the turncoat toward the Blue Cabins. They run straight through a large clump of trees and when they get to the other side...

*BUGUGUGUGUGUG!*

One of Mo's thugs is standing there with a Beehive V.85, firing at the ground in front of their feet and Carlos is handing the camera to Mo.

Shawn shouts at Carlos, "You Benedict Arnold! How long have you been plotting with General Clinton there?"

Carlos asks, "What, do you read up on American history every night before bed?"

"As a matter of fact... no."

Mo, chuckling the whole time, says, "Well Mark, *hee hee hee*, looks like I, *hee hee*, win again. Ha ha ha haaaa!" He then proceeds to press the "delete all" button and tosses the camera back to Mark.

Mark says as he turns to leave, "Until next time, Mo."

"Yeah yeah, next time, whatever." Mo says with a final chuckle and shuts the door of Blue Cabin One behind him.