Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 6: The Fuehrer, The Better

Early in the morning, Coach grabs his trumpet and starts playing "Take me out to the ball game."


"..Buy me some peanuts and Cracker-jack, I don't care if I never get back. Let me root, root, root for the..."

"Shawn! Shut, up!" Everyone shouts at once.

They start covering their heads with their pillows or burying themselves deeper in their blankets. The door crashes open and Mo steps in. He starts opening the blinds and says, around his ever-present toothpick, "Alright turkeys, I'm in charge of you now..."

After making absolutely sure -in all the rudest ways possible- that they're all up, Mo takes a "Flit Gun" filled with soot and starts pumping it, "... so what I want you to do, is get this cabin clean by lunch! Ha ha ha *cough, cough*... heh."

After thoroughly coating the place, Mo hefts the "Acme tool of mass bug destruction" on his shoulder and leaves with a satisfied look on his face, whistling, "I've been working on the railroad."

One of the Reds picks up a broom and starts sweeping.  Two others start taking the sheets off beds and everyone else focuses on brushing the soot off of themselves.

Rod makes a small, difficult to notice gesture with his hand.  Across the room, Shawn nods and slowly walks to the screen-window, he cups his hands around his mouth and goes, "CAW CAW! CAW CAW!"

Rod and Leo flinch.  Everyone stares at Shawn for a moment, before continuing what they're doing.  Rod and Leo breathe a sigh of relief.  Outside in the trees behind the cabin, a pigeon calls out.

Rod, Leo and Shawn crouch by the window.  Sam and Eric sneak up to the wall of the cabin, below the window.

Rod quietly asks, "So are you guys in, or what? You've had most of yesterday and all this morning to consider whether you'll help us or not."

Sam says, "Yeah.  Keep your pants on.  We'll help."

Eric adds, "We wanna get back at Mo for what he did yesterday."

Rod asks, "What exactly did he do to you yesterday?"

Sam, "After we got him angry..."

Eric, "...and started leading him to that crazy-stupid trap..."

Both, "...he called our mom ugly!"

"Oh." Rod says.

Rod, Leo and Shawn slowly make their way to the door. Everyone else is so absorbed in what they're doing, that they easily manage to slip out. The twins join them out front and they all run off.



Two Green cabin kids, one twelve, the other thirteen, are surrounded by a few Blue cabin flunkies. Nearby, Mo lounges on a tree-stump, watching.

Rod and company crawl to a nearby bush. Leo pulls out Mark's camera and turns it on.

One of Mo's thugs is pointing an acorn-gun at the twelve year-old, an "Eagle-eye V.10". The older kid hands over all his camobucks, then they let the two of them go.

Sam asks, "How many pictures did you get?"

Leo replies with a nervous look on his face, "The batteries are dead!"

Rod, Sam and Eric all exclaim, "What?!"

Suddenly, they hear Mo's voice from the other side of the bush, "Shush! I think I heard somethin'... over there!"

They hear the sound of one of the other Blue cabiners loading his acorn-gun, then a hail of fire erupts just over their heads. After a few moments it stops.

On one side of the bush, Mo listens intently. While on the other side, they're all frozen like statues.

Eventually Mo breaks the silence, "Eh... must be hearing things."

The gangsters leave, while behind the bush Rod, Leo, Shawn, Sam and Eric look at the leaves full of holes above them. They sigh with relief, all except Shawn, who thoughtfully stares at the leaves and says, "I wonder if bushes look like this in Switzerland."

They all return to the Red cabins and assist in finishing cleaning the place, except Sam and Eric. At the cafeteria, they begin plotting their next move.



Once again, the five of them are crawling across the ground. Ahead of them is Mo, one of his flunkies and someone else who is standing on the other side of Mo, where they can't see. They hide behind a large rock. Leo readjusts his glasses, reaches into one of his pockets, pulls out a tape recorder and presses the record button.

Mo, looking down at a clipboard, says, "Two 'Badger' grenade launchers, four 'Snakes-In-The-Grass,' three 'Scorpion' crossbows and five 'Squirrel' hand guns. Am I missing anything?"

"No, I don't believe so." Replies a voice they couldn't easily tell if it belonged to a boy or a girl.

Rod and the gang realize that Mo is smuggling weapons to someone outside of the camp. Suddenly, Rod notices a squeaking sound. He looks over at Leo and sees the tape coming out of the cassette.

"Um... Leo?!" Rod urgently whispers.

Leo looks at the recorder, stops it, and tries to wind the tape back up.

"Alright, I'm sure I heard something that time!" Mo says. Then he grabs one of the guns laid out for his mysterious customer, loads it and marches toward the rock.

Everyone, on either side of the rock, freezes. From somewhere nearby they can all hear a large, low growling sound.

That mysterious, half-boy, half-girl voice shrieks, "It's a bear!"

As Mo, his flunkie, and the owner of the strange voice - who turns out to be some person wearing a large, black trench-coat with a deep hood - run off, everyone looks in the direction the sound came from, and they see Sam and Eric, texting! (With the same phone.)

The twins notice the looks on everyone's faces and take on rather shameless ones.

Rod says, "Um, if you hadn't noticed, there's a bear nearby!!"

Eric explains, "Actually, that's our 'message-alert', tone."

"The sound of a bear growling?!" Leo says incredulously, while scratching his mole, located on his left temple.

Sam says, "We recorded it the time Joe had a peanut-butter and honey sandwich. A grizzly bear came and tried to get it from him. Suffice to say, that bear won't come within half a mile of Joe even if it's life depends on it!"

Rod gets up and announces, "Well, no use sitting here 'til Mo notices that we - who are close friends of Mark - are gone."

Eric chimes in, "Technically, we aren't his friends."

Sam, "Yeah, he's blackmailing us!"

Rod, "You're helping us. In Mo's mind, that qualifies."

The three Reds start running back to their cabin, and after looking at each-other and gulping, the twins follow.

When they get there, Mo is there as well. He turns around to glare at them as they enter the cabin.

"Alright, what have you boys been up to?"

"Oh that's simple, we've been trying to sp..." Shawn manages to say, just before Rod and Leo slap their hands over his mouth.

Rod forces himself to meet Mo's blizzard-cold stare - not quite perfectly - with a nervous grin, and says, "Nothing... just... getting some fresh air."

"Uh huh... I see." Mo says with a face that reads, "Imminent doom approaching, abandon ship now, or else!"

At that moment, Rod discovers what it's like to swallow nervously... when your mouth is as dry as the Sahara!

For the next few minutes, Mo scrutinizes each of them one at a time, first Leo, then Rod, then Shawn, then Leo again, then Shawn, and finally back to Rod.

At this point, the look on Mo's face changes to one that makes the earlier one look tame. The kind of look a headsman might adopt just before the stroke!

Mo begins raising his hand and says in a low, grim tone, "Alright." And the three of them can practically hear the ominous music playing, *Dun, DUN-DUN, Duuun!*

Mo points at Rod, and says, "You. Come. Wit'. Me."

Rod, with a combination look of, "terrified" and "vacant," points at himself.

Mo's eyes narrow and says, "Yesss, yoooou."

Mo leaves Red Cabin One, with Rod shuffling behind, and leads him to Blue Cabin One.

Mo, none-too-gently, shoves Rod through the door, and closes it slowly to make sure that it creaks as intimidatingly as much as possible.

"Alright, Randy, Richard, or whatever your name was, to make sure that you're not sticking your nose where it don't belong, you are going to clean. My. Collection!"

To punctuate what he says, Mo points at the far wall and Rod sees what "collection" Mo means. Hanging on the wall near Mo's bunk, a dozen frames hold pictures of all the most infamous gangsters from the past fifty years or more: Al Capone, John Dillinger, Machine-Gun Kelly, Baby-Face Nelson, Lucky Luciano, and some Rod has never even heard of.

"Dust the frames, straighten the photos, polish the glass and when you hang them back up, make sure they are level!" Mo says. He then marches out and shoves Brent, his number-one bruiser, into the cabin and says, "Watch him! I've got some 'business' to take care of still."

When Mo said "business" the way he did, images flashed into Rod's mind of hitmen, concrete shoes, and matters that are dealt with "real permanent like."

So for the next half an hour, Rod does the best he can to make things orderly: dusting, polishing, et cetera.

After a while, Mo returns, with a blank expression he looks over what Rod has done so far, nods and then leaves. As Rod tosses out his third disinfecting wipe, he sees something familiar. Crumpled up, at the bottom of the trash bin, is the checklist - in Mo's handwriting - of the weapons smuggled out of the camp!

Quickly, Rod thinks up a way to distract Brent. Rod opens one of the screen windows, Brent's eyes narrow and his fists clench. Brent has blond hair though it's hard to tell because it is buzz-cut, his eyes are gray and he wears jeans and a blue football jacket.

After opening the window, Rod sticks his head out. Waits and then finally shouts, "Hey, Leo what are you doing out there?!"

Brent dashes out the door. Rod reaches down and picks a large rock off the ground. As soon as Brent is just about to come around the corner, Rod tosses the rock toward the trees and under-brush. Brent hearing the sound, rockets its direction to pursue the elusive intruder.

Rod swiftly pulls the checklist out of the garbage, folds it and stuffs it in his pocket. After that he quickly finishes re-hanging the pictures. By the time he's done, Brent comes back, picking twigs and leaves off his clothes.

Seeing that Rod is done, Brent checks his wrist-watch and says, "Okay, boss says that once you're done you can go."

Rod nods meekly to hide his smug grin and starts for the door. As he walks down the steps, Brent plucks the evidence out of Rod's pocket, shaking his head. He wags his finger at Rod, saying, "Oh no you don't."

Rod stares at him with an expression of shock. This is the guy who easily fell for the "Whatever in the world could that be?" trick.

Brent makes a shooing motion with his hand and says, "Best that you not be getting into what you can't see going on." He then sniffs the paper, makes a sour face and mutters to himself, "Did he seriously dig this out of the garbage?"

Brent walks back into the cabin, leaving Rod standing there wondering how much intelligence is masked by that tough, jock-ish face.

By the time Rod finishes lumbering back to his cabin, Mo has already dished out another half-dozen things for the boys in the Red Cabins to slave away at, sometimes twice over, including but not limited to the chores of every member of Mo's gang, known and unknown.

Leo, from his spot on one of the top bunks, asks, "Say, uh, Rod? What exactly did Mo do to you?"

Rod emerges from his brooding and replies, "Nothing much different from you guys' treatment."

Leo ponders for a moment and asks, "Hey! Did you manage to get something, anything incriminating?"

"Almost." Rod says in a sulky, whiny, self-disappointed tone.



Mark, sitting against the back wall of the rather shoddy cell in the room at the back of the manager's cabin with his eyes closed, contently hums "Eye of The Tiger."

The door to the cell-block room opens and Coach sticks his head in. Wearing the humble look of a man who feels guilty about what he's done to a boy he feels like a father towards, he says, "Mark, th-there's... someone who wants to see ya."

Coach withdraws, leaving the door wide open. Just outside is someone wearing a black trench-coat with a deep, concealing hood. Talking to the stranger is Brent from Blue Cabin One, who slips what appears to be a folded piece of paper into a gloved hand, which disappears into the stranger's pocket.

Brent, surprisingly for a guy of his build, slinks away. After a moment, the stranger turns and walks into the room, shutting the door behind themselves.

The figure crouches by the bars and says in whisper, "All is prepared for tomorrow. Mo won't know what hit him 'til it's too late!"

Mark says, "I'm not sure I want to talk to someone who works for Mo. I saw you talking to Brent."

The stranger replies in an amused tone, "Who said him or I work for Mo?"

Mark raises an eyebrow and asks, "Who are you? And what are you talking about? Tomorrow?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Then the stranger giggles in what can only be a girl's laugh.

Marks eyes go wide as dinner-plates when he realizes who that laugh belongs to. Then, he smiles.

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 5: Didn't Make it, Just Impacted!

As usual, everyone wakes up groaning when Coach starts playing his trumpet.  This time it is "Cavalry Charge".


Mark, Rod, Leo, Shawn and Billy, who could pass for Mark's younger brother except the Jamaican accent makes it obvious they aren't related, bolt from the cabin at a dead run.

Mark tilts his head toward Billy and says, "Billy, you go get Coach, we'll take care of the rest."

"Sure thing, Mon," he says, not breaking stride.  He heads off in the direction of the manager's cabin.

Rod nearly trips when he looks at Mark and asks, "You really sure this is a good idea?"

"Do we want Mo's reign of terror to end?  Then what better way to lure him in than this?"

"I know, but Sam and Eric don't really seem like the 'team player' types.  Except with each other."

"Relax.  I think I can persuade them."

Soon they arrive at the Yellow cabins, where most of the occupants are lounging around.  One pair of particularly muscled guys are wrestling, without their shirts.  Another is holding up a punching bag, while the other is hitting it.  Rod notices that, hanging over the door of number one, is a skull, clearly fake, but intimidating nonetheless.

Mark jogs up the stairs to the door of Yellow cabin one, bangs on it and says, "Hey Jozer!"

While they wait, Leo asks, "Jozer?"

Mark replies, "That's his nick-name."

"Who?"

"Joe."

"Why is he called that?"

"Cause it sounds like 'dozer."

Leo gulps and says, "L-Like in b-b-bulldozer?"

The door is opened by a seventeen year-old guy with a really good tan, spiky orange hair, is about six and a half feet tall and weighs three hundred pounds!  Most of it muscle, the rest, a force you don't want to be in the way of!  Joe Spivey, leader of the Yellow cabins, wearing pitch-black combat boots, jeans, half-finger leather gloves, a golden barbed chain necklace and a sleeveless denim vest, over a yellow t-shirt.

"What do you want?  I'm kinda in the middle of something and this is the fifth time I've been interrupted," Joe says in an exasperated tone, with a voice so deep, you'd think a tuba was talking.

Inside, Mark sees a row of chairs occupied by more muscle-bound Yellow cabiners, writing in notepads.  In front of them, is a kid with an agonized look on his face, tucking his underwear back into his pants.  On the wall, is a marker-board that reads, "Today's lesson: Proper wedgie technique."

Mark looks up at the skull, and asks in a sarcastic tone, "Is that one of your recent victims?"

Voice rolling like thunder, Joe replies, "The only victim involved with that was my thumb. Stupid hammer. Now what is it you want?!"

"We need to borrow the twins." Mark says.

"Fine."

"Great... Wait! What?"

"Fine."

"Your two best troublemakers, and you're gonna... let us have them?  Just like that?"

"Yeah, they've been getting on my nerves all day!"

"Um... ookay."

"Sam!  Eric!  Get out here!"

In unison, the two of them rush over from their bunks wearing rather amused grins, salute, and say, "Sir, yes Sir!"

Joe scowls at them, their stances become more rigid, at attention, and their smiles melt away.  Joe then proceeds to push them out the door and say, "Mark's in charge of you 'til he says so.  Now go!"

The door slams behind them with a resounding bang and they turn around to face Mark, Rod, Leo and Shawn, who's been distractedly watching the sky for the last few minutes as if it were going to drop on him.

After they all walk down the stairs and away from the front of the cabin to let people through, the twins cross their arms and glower at them.  Sam starts, "Why should we do..."

"...anything you tell us to?" Eric finishes.

Mark pulls out a wad of camobucks, and a greedy, mischievous light enters their eyes, and Mark says, "Ten cams' for each of you."

"What exactly do you..."

"...want us to do?" They say in a non-convinced, hesitant manner.

"You two are the MOST annoying people we know and you're going to help us trick Mo into blabbing the truth, right where Coach can hear."

Sam, "Oh no, no..."

Eric, "...there's no way you..."

Both, "...are going to rope us into this!"

Mark snaps his fingers, and Shawn, who seemed to have disappeared while they were talking, shoves his way between the twins, walks up to Mark, and hands him a journal he had hidden under his shirt.

Mark holds it up so the pranksters can see it and their eyes nearly pop out of their heads.

"I'm sure Maggie would like to know how you guys managed to replace the helium in the balloons at her tenth birthday party with 'sulphur hexafluoride."

Mark flips the page and says, "Or then there's the time you..."

Mark reads ahead and after a moment, grimaces, "...put itching powder on the shoulder straps of her bikini?! That was you?!"

They flinch, get down on their knees and start begging him to spare them, so pale with terror that one could see the freckles on their identical "pretty-boy" faces, from fifty feet away.

"We'll do anything you ask!" Sam says.

"Anything?" Mark asks.

"Anything!" Eric says.

"Well then, Waldorf and Statler, you're going to..."


"I can't believe we're doing this!" Eric complains as they're headed toward the Blue cabins.

"That's what happens when you promise them, 'anything'!"

"You said 'anything' first!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

Suddenly, Eric notices movement in the trees behind his brother and looses a startled yelp. Sam spins around and asks, "What did you see?"

"I dunno!"

Sam sighs, looks over his shoulder at his twin and says, "Brain damage!"

Sam looks back at the trees, and after a few moments they both jump, when they see something move somewhere deeper in than before.  They look at each other, then at the forest, then at each other again.  Finally, they both go charging into the undergrowth to investigate.

Whoever or whatever it is they're chasing is fast enough that all they see of it are just brief glances ahead of them, enough that they can still follow it, but not enough to see who or what it is.  They end up hopping the fence to continue pursuit, but eventually they lose the mysterious figure all-together.  The two of them continue to wander around, to see if they can spot it again, and finally give up when they reach some random clearing in front of a small cliff-side in the woods.  As they head away from the clearing, back under the trees, they hear a twig snap and Eric turns around, looks up and points.  Sam looks, standing at the top of the cliff looking over the edge, is the shadowy figure of a man.

The mysterious stranger doesn't seem to notice their presence, he turns and bends over to lift something.  When the stranger turns around, he bends over again to set down a large object, and tips it over.  They realize that the object is a metal barrel, which starts emptying itself of its contents.  Some weird blue gunk lands in a pool of water in the clearing.  Over the course of the next several minutes, the man dumps two more barrels out.  The second had some red slime in it and the third had some gelatin-like purple stuff.  After that, the stranger uses one hand to dump out three bottles of some greenish stuff too, and then disappears.

They walk to the edge of the pool and look in.  The "water" seems to be boiling and looks like some trippy sixties rainbow effect, which is in stark contrast with the half-melted old tire, the beer bottles, the toilet-seat and the dead animals.

As they're walking away, Sam says, "Are you thinking what I'm think..." (SMACK) something thrusts out of the ground in front of his feet and slaps him in the face, cutting him off, mid-sentence.

"AAAUUGH! MY NOSE!" He says clutching his face and recoiling in pain.

They both scream like little girls and run a hundred yards away from the pool and the discolored ground around it, before they feel safe. Sam's nose is bleeding and has a large bruise forming.

When they catch their breath, Eric says, "Yes, Sam. I was thinking what you were thinking.  We never speak of this again."

"Agreed."



Meanwhile. Billy sees the manager's cabin ahead and picks up the pace.  He throws the door open and sweeps his gaze over the room and spots Coach.

"Coach-Mon, there's something you need to see! Quick! Come on!"

"Billy, what is it? Why the rush?"

"No time for questions. Hurry!"

"Alright, alright. I'm comin', relax," Coach says, getting up from his chair.

They jog out the door, then toward a point halfway between the Red and Blue cabins.

Before they reach their destination though, Coach has to take a break, "I haven't done this much running since 'Nam. No wait, I wasn't in 'Nam."

"We have to hurry!"

"Okay, Billy, okay. Just give me four minutes."

"Ugh."



Mark shifts his feet impatiently, soon Coach would be here.  Coach would hide behind a bush and when Mo comes tearing around the trees in such a foul mood that when Mark starts chastising him, he'll blab til' the cows come home.

All of a sudden, he can hear Mo shouting after Sam and Eric.

"No! They're not supposed to be here yet! What's taking Coach so long?!" Mark mutters angrily to himself.

The twins come racing around the bend, terrified looks on their faces, with Mo not far behind, going berserk with a "Beehive" rapid-fire acorn gun!

Sam and Eric run past him and keep going.

"Cowards!" Mark says at their backs then turns to face Mo.

Mo stops in front of Mark and hefts his weapon, saying, "Alright, Colonel Sanders, why were those chickens hassling me?"

"They were supposed to see if you were up to anything," Mark lies.

Mo's eyes flick over Mark's shoulder and quickly back to his face, then he drops his gun on the ground.

"What are you doing?" Mark asks.

Mark picks the gun up and asks, "Seriously, what are you playing at?"

From the bushes nearby, Shawn shouts in an almost perfect impression of Erik Bauersfeld's original performance, "It's a trap!"

"Not right now, Shawn." Mark says.

Mark then points the gun at Mo and asks, "Seriously, what do you want to have happen here? You want me to shoot you with this or something? You think I'm out for revenge? Come on, answer me! Why are you grinning like tha..."

"Mark! Put that down!" Coach says as he walks into the clearing.

"Coach, wait I can explain..."

"I think I've seen enough, Mo get some of your guards and take Mark to my office." Mo immediately starts shouting orders at his nearest henchmen.

The Blue Cabiners come over and restrain Mark, who even as he's dragged off continues trying to convince Coach that he's innocent.

Mo puts a hand on Coaches shoulder and says, "You did what was best Coach, for a long time I've had some suspicions about him. In fact, I just found out that he's made everyone in the Red Cabins into a bunch of low-down dirty crooks, they rob, they bully, and just cause all sorts of havoc behind our backs."

With a shocked and disappointed look on his face, Coach sighs and says, "Until a new leader has been elected, Mo is in charge of the Red cabins." Mo starts leading Coach back to the Manager's Cabin, assuring him that everything would be fine, though Coach still sullenly says, "And I thought Mark was such a good kid."



Mo enters the managers cabin, goes to the back of the main room, through a door, and into the "Jail". In one of the nearest cells, sits Mark.

"Well, well, well... well." Mo says, trying to hide his mirth.

"Is that all you can say? 'Well'?" Mark says with a mildly annoyed face on.

"I... win... again! Ha ha ha ha ha... (sigh)"

"Yes, Mo.  You've won again, but like every time before, you've only won a battle."

"And that's supposed to mean something?" snickers Mo.

Mark's hand shoots out and grabs Mo by the shirt, pulling him up against the bars so their faces are inches apart and he says, "It means you may have the battle, but the war is mine!"

"Whatever you say, Mark. Whatever you say." Mo says in a "freaked-out" tone as he leaves.

Mark smiles at the door and says triumphantly, "It's just a matter of time."

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 4: Seeing Double!

Jeffrey Harty trudges through the forest, leaning heavily on a branch he's made into a walking stick. He has been doing this for two days straight, ever since the battle. While he and his teammates were walking back to the camp, he stopped to retie his boots and when he finished, everyone else had left him behind.

"It's a darn good thing I brought sandwiches in case this happened or else I would've ended up eating berries, again!" He grumbles as he steps over the same log for about the third time this morning.

"From now on, whenever I go someplace where I can get lost easily, I'll tie a rope between me and anyone with a sense of direction."

He'd tried following the paths. The way they always split off and twisted was bad enough, but the fact that he didn't know which direction the camp was in or which way he was facing at that moment made things even more confusing.

Jeff freezes. In the distance he hears a really bad rendition of "Yankee Doodle" being played on a trumpet and he smiles, "Saved by the bell, and when I say 'bell', I mean 'trumpet'. And when I say 'saved', I mean, well... saved."

He shrugs and follows the sound to the fence and climbs over.

During breakfast at the cafeteria, Leo asks Mark, "So, why is it that the Blue cabins seem to have free reign to use any kind of weapon, whenever they want?"

Mark raises his voice to be heard over the noise coming from the Green cabins' table, as Jeff steps through the door.

"Simple. Shortly after he became leader, Mo convinced Coach that he was arranging a sort of camp security group and Coach agreed, on one condition. Should anyone need to borrow weapons, they have to supply the ammunition themselves and they have to return it before a battle takes place."

"Security?! What a load of bologna!" Rod says.

"His excuse was that they'd take care of any animal problems and make sure that nobody broke the camp rules."

"Since then, those who dwell in the Blue cabins have become even less desirable company than the troublemakers in the Yellow cabins," says an eerie voice from under the table.

Everyone at the table simultaneously looks underneath, except Mark, who says, "Shawn, what are you doing under there, this time?

"Aliens are trying to contact me through morse code by making one of the overhead lights buzz and it's giving me a headache!"

Nobody pays any mind to it, except Leo, who looks up and sure enough, one of the lights is blinking, not that Leo can tell if it's doing it in code or not.

Leo asks, "The Yellow cabins? Troublemakers?"

"If you hadn't noticed, those fellows en las barracas amarillas consist mostly of muscle-heads and pranksters," says a guy with his dark-brown hair in a ponytail, wearing loose gray jeans, cowboy boots and a dark-red long-sleeve shirt, buttoned up all the way, with the collar turned up.

"Who are you?" Rod asks.

"My name is Edward Velez, amigo. That backstabber, Carlos, is my older brother."

Everyone finishes breakfast and heads back to their own cabins. Before he steps out, Mark takes a quick look at the malfunctioning light.

".. ... | .- -. -.-- --- -. . | --- ..- - | - .... . .-. ." (Is anyone out there?)

He blinks in surprise and looks around to see if anyone else saw. No one else is there anymore.  He shrugs and shakes his head, then jogs to catch up with everyone.

By the time he does, they're almost to the cabins, and Edward, amid everyone snickering, is saying in a very monotone voice, "There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

At that, everyone bursts into fits of laughter.

"And that's why they call me Eddie 'Deadpan' Velez!"

"How do you keep from cracking up?" Shawn asks.

"Years of practice, hombre."

Suddenly, one of the guys says, "DUCK!"

Shawn pulls out a switchblade and asks, "Where?!"

"No! Duck for cover! It's Sam and Eric!"

Everyone scrambles to get out of the way, as two fourteen year-old's, holding on to each other's feet to form a human wheel, roll in. They spring apart and land on their feet, laughing in an amused fashion the whole time.

In appearance, the two of them seem to be absolutely identical in every way, the same white tank tops, blue-jeans, heelies, the same bleach blond hair, blue eyes, freckles, and an all around jock-ish, pretty-boy, look about them, they even wear their yellow armbands, as headbands instead. The only way one can tell them apart, is that they have their names written on their "headbands" in marker.

"Sheesh Sam, did you see the way they ran for it? Almost as if..."

"...they don't like us very much." Sam finishes, both of them speaking sarcastically with smug grins on their faces.

Sam says, "One has to wonder..."

Eric picks up, "...why that could be?"

Then Sam picks up one end of a string, they glance at it and their smiles go from smug to maniacal and they both say, "Oh! That's right!"

Sam tugs it and they go cartwheeling off out of sight, laughing mockingly. A small catapult, hidden behind a bush, tosses a bucketful of rotten eggs at the cabins.



"Those two, are the worst twins in the whole history of twins!" Rod says loud enough that anyone else using the showers can hear him.

"With all these interruptions to deal with, how are we supposed to do anything about Mo?" Leo asks from inside one of the other showers.

While running a towel through his hair, Mark says, "Simple, we set a trap. Mo slips up, and we make sure that Coach is there to see it."

As he's rinsing his hair, Leo dramatically stares into the distance and says, "Sounds like fun. So what's the plan?"

Mark replies, "Give me 'til tomorrow and I'll probably have something."

"You mean, you don't even know what we're going to do yet?" Rod asks.

Mark grins at his reflection in the mirror and says, "Nope! Oh, and Shawn?"

"Yes?"

"How did you convince Coach to let you keep that switchblade?"



Meanwhile, over at the Blue cabins.

Everyone is trying to dodge an unexpected volley of rotten eggs. One lands on Mo's hat and he starts shouting, "Whoever did this is a @$!6^*$#* ing *&7#%@3@+ lorinipsum =#^@1^!^@*&$*9#!?=~ abnivinium $^\}&@4*$9^@ tlllagulaf *~7<^$#%![2`^# hippopotamus *$^&@:#*%^ republican []*&8#^%4*&#%** with Daniel Radcliffe }*$^*_+$&^@?5!/|<*$%> and a bucket of }*$^6#?<!5%#$=2&* in a castle, far away, where no one can hear you }3^*@&^!@+/)7%#} soup {(#^@*%>!$*** with a bucket of +*^@%$!?~?<><* Mickey Mouse *#*^9^&!@6^/* a stick of dynamite *!&$9^@^$#?0{*%# magical %!*2%&#@%?/"+* alakazam!"

Everyone present stares at Mo like he recently escaped from a psych ward, and then try to make it look like they weren't staring when he notices.

"Alright, did anyone see who did it?" Mo asks.  Everyone shakes their heads in unison.

"Nobody?! Hmm... I'll bet it was Mark, that wise-guy!" Mo growls in frustration and says, "This is it boys, this is war!"

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 3: Bluefellas

Rod wakes with a start, as Coach begins to play Reveille on his trumpet, rather badly and loud enough for the whole camp to hear. Rod had been lucky enough to be spared the rude awakening yesterday, since Mark had gently woken him up before Coach started practicing, which Coach apparently does every morning. So far as anyone knows, he hasn't ever gotten better.

After getting dressed and stopping by the cafeteria, Rod and the rest of the Reds start running the obstacle course. While quickly stepping through the tires laid on the ground, Rod asks Mark, "So we have to do this every day?"

"Pretty much."

"Is there any way we could not do it?"

"Only if you're sick, doing chores or Jeffrey Harty after an excursion out back." Mark finishes saying while pointing in the direction of the Battlefield.

With a confused look, Rod asks, "Speaking of Jeff, where is he? I didn't see him at breakfast... In fact, I haven't seen him at all since yesterday. Did he get abducted by aliens or something?"

As they're climbing over a wall with a knotted rope, Mark explains, "Jeffrey Harty probably has the worst sense of direction the world has ever known. He can't find his way anywhere, even with a path right under his feet. Chances are, that after the battle yesterday, he was separated from everyone else and got lost,  again!"

"Shouldn't we be looking for him then?"

"Nah. Every time this happens, he always manages to find his way back, albeit with a few bumps and bruises and in real need of a bath, but he comes back nonetheless."

They get down the other side of the wall and start vaulting, with one hand, over picnic tables, Rod none too successfully. Upon finishing, they get to the last obstacle, where they have to swing over mud (for some reason). Mark makes it across easily, whereas Rod ends up dragging his feet through the mire.

As they head toward the cafeteria for lunch, Mark sees movement behind a cluster of trees and brush. Mark puts a hand on Rod's shoulder and he raises a finger in front of his mouth and motions with his head in the direction of the trees. They crouch and sneak over. Peering from behind a bush, they see a kid, about twelve years old, with a yellow armband, surrounded by teenagers with blue. Among the blues is Mo and one of the others is holding a "Squirrel V.52" handgun.

"We can either do this the easy...", Mo manages to say just before the kid pulls out his wallet and hands him a stack of rectangular pieces of camouflage colored paper with pictures of acorns on the front (camobucks). Mo looks down at it in surprise and says, "Well that was easy." And after taking it, begins saying, "Remember now..."

"If I spill my guts, you know where I live. Got it!", the yellow cabiner says quickly and runs off, occasionally tossing back nervous glances, in case they decide to chase him.

"It ain't fun when they finish your sentences for ya!" Mo says with an agitated look on his face. The other three stand there with blank faces, staring at the ground and nodding in agreement.

"What? You just gonna stand there wit' them dumb looks on your faces? Get goin', com'on, com'on! Move it!"

They all snap out of it and start running back toward the blue cabins, trying to avoid the kicks that Mo aims at their shins.

Once they're out of sight, Mark and Rod rise from their hiding place. Rod says, "Man, I wish we could've stopped 'em!"

Mark holds up a camera.

"This good enough for you?"

Rod gets a smug grin on his face, "You, Sir, are awesome!"

Mark looks through the pictures and says, "Finally nailed you, Mo."

At the cafeteria, the whole red cabin table is abuzz in no time after Mark starts showing around his pictures of Mo caught in the act. Leo asks Mark, "What it is that Mo's been doing?"

"For the past few years, he's been robbing everyone he can manage to corner, even members of the blue cabins, any that haven't joined his mob yet. Some say he even has members of other cabins in his little mafia."

While everyone else is looking at the pictures, a guy wearing a red armband breaks away from the group and sneaks over to the blue cabin table.

"Well, if it isn't the self proclaimed 'Ladies Man'.What is it Carl?" Mo asks the fifteen year-old, Spanish kid with a mullet, wearing skinny jeans and a jacket, unbuttoned to let his muscular chest show.

"For the last time, my name is Carlos, Sir, and it seems you didn't come away completely clean when you robbed the yellow cabin punk."

"How do you know about that?" Mo turns his attention to the three goons closest to him, "Which one of you's been blabbing about it?!"

Carlos says, "Mark was watching you do it and took pictures."

"Dang it!" Mo nearly shouts, then looks around to see if anyone heard. Soon he focuses his attention back on Carlos and whispers, "Carlos, I need you to get those pictures away from him before it's too late."

"Yes, Sir!" And Carlos slinks back over to the red cabin table.

Beatrice, one of the lunch-ladies, rings a bell and says, "Alright, lunch time's over. Everyone finish up and go about your business."

As they're leaving the cafeteria, Rod asks Mark, "So what happens when you tell Coach about Mo?"

"His leadership of the blue cabins will be revoked and they'll elect a new guy. Mo will spend the next few weeks mopping the cafeteria and cleaning the outhouses. The camobucks the blue cabins have will be equally divided among the other cabins, too."

Suddenly, Leo drops on his knees and starts groaning, "I don't feel so good."

Rod kneels beside him and sees how pale he is, making his one mole, on his chin, even more prominent. Mark and Rod help Leo up, then Shawn walks over, "Hey, you look like you've had a little too much mystery meat!"

Leo asks, "Is that what it was?"

Mark says, "We gotta get him to the nurse's office. Shawn you can help."

The three of them carry Leo to the nurse's office and just as they approach the steps, a voice behind them says, "I'll get the door, Amigos."

Mark replies, "Thanks, Carlos."

Carlos opens the door and they haul Leo through and put him on the table. Maggie, who was listening to Anna Blue on her MP3 player, stands up and asks, "What's wrong?"

Mark says, "I don't know. We were just at lunch. He ate an apple, some raw carrots and a ton of the mystery meat."

"Ptomaine poisoning, just great! Bad news is my Mom is at the Doctor's for a checkup. Good news is she mixed up something for this, just before she left." Maggie, half skips, half walks, over to a shelf and grabs a bottle, pops the top off and pours some of the liquid into the cover. While she's doing that, Carlos sneaks over to where Mark had carelessly put down his camera and snatches it.

Maggie says "Leo, Honey, you're gonna have to drink this... here." Leo swallows it and almost coughs it back up.

"He should be fine in about half an hour, but he'll need plenty of rest."

"Thanks, Maggs," Mark says. Carlos heads for the door and says, "Well, I have some business to take care of. See you all later!"

As Carlos passes Maggie she gives a yelp when he lightly spanks her and says with a smile, "Nice job Mejillas Dulces!"

Maggie's hand moves like lightning as she seizes the back of Carlos' mullet, puts on a bone-chilling smile and says in a scarily sweet tone, "Carlos, Honey, if you ever do that again, I swear, you'll get such a swift kick you-know-where that your voice won't stop squeaking, for a year."

Carlos, looking like he's either about to scream, or cry, says, "Si Senorita!!"

Maggie lets go, and Carlos runs like a pack of wolves is on his heels.

"Darn that pretty-boy!" Mark says.

Everyone looks at him and Shawn says, "Yeah nobody treats my future girlfriend that way!" He shakes his fist in the direction Carlos went.

Maggie asks, "And what makes you think I'm ever going to be your girlfriend?"

"Uuuuuuuuuuhhh..."

Mark interrupts by saying, "No, not that. Don Juan there just took my camera!"

Mark, Shawn and Rod, charge after the turncoat toward the Blue Cabins. They run straight through a large clump of trees and when they get to the other side...

*BUGUGUGUGUGUG!*

One of Mo's thugs is standing there with a Beehive V.85, firing at the ground in front of their feet and Carlos is handing the camera to Mo.

Shawn shouts at Carlos, "You Benedict Arnold! How long have you been plotting with General Clinton there?"

Carlos asks, "What, do you read up on American history every night before bed?"

"As a matter of fact... no."

Mo, chuckling the whole time, says, "Well Mark, *hee hee hee*, looks like I, *hee hee*, win again. Ha ha ha haaaa!" He then proceeds to press the "delete all" button and tosses the camera back to Mark.

Mark says as he turns to leave, "Until next time, Mo."

"Yeah yeah, next time, whatever." Mo says with a final chuckle and shuts the door of Blue Cabin One behind him.

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 2: Doom?

Early the next morning, Mark drags Rod out of bed to accompany him to arrange for weapons and vehicles needed for the battle. Eventually they reach a large shed with a sign that reads, "Supply Depot".

"Wait here," says Mark, as he steps inside the "Supply Depot".

Rod leans against the wall and says, "Fine."

Mark had explained on the way over to there, before every battle, the leaders of the competing teams have to "rent" equipment for their team to use with the camp "money" the teams have earned by doing chores like: cleaning the outhouses, mopping the cafeteria or collecting acorns, pine cones and sticks. The money is referred to as "camo-bucks" which Coach designed himself.

After a few minutes, Mark comes back out and says "Well, we're all set."

"Where's the stuff?"

"What did you expect? That we were going to carry it all? No, we'll grab it on the way to the battle."

"Oh...okay."

Rod, Mark and everyone else begin getting suited up in padded camouflage jumpsuits, combat boots, goggles and helmets. Each jumpsuit has a red band on both arms. A backpack filled with miscellaneous gear for each of them sits along the wall by the door. As Rod is finishing changing, some kid, struggling to get his other boot on with one hand, bumps into Rod.

"Watch it..."

Looking up, Rod swallows the insult he was about ready to loose, as he realizes that the shorter kid standing in front of him, with short and curly brown hair, blue eyes, glasses and a mole on the right side of his nose, is Leonard Skinner, Rod's friend since preschool.

"Leo!?"

"What?"

"They tricked you into coming here too?"

"Yeah I'm here, not that anyone tricked me into anything. Didn't you see me yesterday?"

"Um, no."

"When you and Mark went through the cafeteria, I waved at you."

"Well I wasn't paying attention."

Then with a stern face, Leo says "That's 'cause you have the attention span of a squirrel."

After an awkward moment of silence, they simultaneously burst into laughter. After they regain their composure, they notice that everyone else had left while they were busy chatting. Scrambling, they get the remaining parts of their uniforms on and run out the door.

As they're running, Leo asks Rod, "You got tricked into coming here?"

Rod slows a bit so Leo can keep up and replies, "Yeah, my parents told me it was a summer-camp, they conveniently forgot to add the 'boot' before 'camp'... You wanted to come here?!"

Leo gets an embarrassed look on his face and shrugs.




When they catch up, they get into the line forming in front of the Supply Depot and when they get up to the window-counter, Coach hands Rod what appears to be a large gun made out of pvc piping, tin cans and duct tape, with a large barrel and a spring-loaded plunger, while Leo gets a little hand gun, made of much the same stuff. They follow everyone else to the gate at the back of camp labeled "Battlefield", which leads into the fenced off twenty acres in which no one besides the participants is allowed during these events.

As everyone files in, Mark closes the gate, picks up a box sitting on the ground and opens it. Inside is an envelope and a red flag on a two foot pole.  He hands the flag off to the kid standing next to him and pulls a letter out of the envelope, after setting down the box, and reads it so everyone can hear.

"The red team bases today are: Hill Bunker, Port Island and The Bridge."

Everyone follows Mark down the path through the trees to a fork, where they turn left. While they're walking, Rod silently counts how many of them there are on the team, there are twenty kids per cabin and there are four cabins in each group, which means there are eighty people on each team! While they're walking, a guy about Mark's age walks up behind Rod and says "Hello!"

Rod nearly jumps out of his skin and turns around to look at the guy. He's gangly and abnormally pale, has greasy-black hair and gray, shifty eyes. Rod asks "Who are you, and could you not sneak up on me like that?"

Mark says "Rod, meet Shawn of red cabin three, he's the Doc's son."

Shawn grabs Rods hand and shakes his hand so hard, Rod is surprised that his arm doesn't pop off and says "Glad to make your acquaintance."

"I can tell." Rod mutters quietly to himself.

Eventually they get to another fork, there's a sign with two arrows, one pointing left and the other, right. Mark divides the team and sends one quarter down the right path, the arrow says "Port Island", while he leads the rest, down the left path, its arrow says "Hill Bunker."

They arrive at a hill with a bunker made of concrete bricks built in it, with the bunker's ends extending out past the hill itself and a wooden watchtower on top. The bunker has two heavy wooden doors, one at each end, and narrow windows.

Mark directs another twenty of the team to continue on the path past the bunker to hold the bridge and has everyone else load their weapons. In everyone's backpack there is a box of two hundred acorns, a snorkel, thirty pine cones with twigs stuck in the bottoms and a paint-fume mask. The acorns, Rod knows, are ammo, but he has no idea what the pine cones are for. He picks one up and turns it in his hands, trying to figure out what they are supposed to do and jumps when Mark tells him to be careful with it.

Rod asks "Why?"

"The pine cones are grenades."

"What!" Rod exclaims, and nearly drops the one he's holding.

Mark explains, "There are three types of them and everyone has ten of each. One is an itching-powder-bomb with a effect radius of five feet, which we call the 'Gnat swarm'. The second is a stink-bomb that effects a radius of ten feet and smells so bad you'll want to puke, we call that the 'Stink bug'. The last is a smoke bomb with a radius of five feet, that we jokingly refer to as 'Smoky bears'. "

"Besides the grenades there's also an itching-powder land mine call the 'Snake in the grass' which is basically two pieces of bark tied together with a detonator in between, and the subs carry dry-ice torpedoes called the 'Walrus' that has a blast radius of five feet and is made out of plastic bottles, all the explosives have only enough explosive material to go off and not enough to injure someone though they go off when they hit something and in the case of the grenades, they will also explode three seconds after you pull the pin. Try not to drop them please."

Rod says "Got it."

Just before he puts it back in his pack, Mark says, "Don't put it back."

Rod asks "Why?"

"Because the gun you have is a Badger V.42, which is a grenade launcher. It can lob one of those bad boys, fifty, a hundred or one-hundred and fifty feet, depending on how far you pull the plunger back. So you'll want to keep a grenade on hand."

"Sweet!"

"And Leo, your gun is a Squirrel V.52, it holds twenty rounds and has a range of sixty feet."

Leo asks, "What's your gun?"

"Mine is an Eagle eye V.10, it holds sixty rounds and has a one-hundred yard range." Mark says, hefting a sort-of rifle.

"Cool." Leo exclaims.

Mark goes on to tell them about the other weapons and the vehicles as fast as possible.

A large gun made from an old gas can and a plastic milk jug, with a wooden tripod attached to the bottom known as "The Beehive V.85" is a crank-operated rapid fire weapon that holds one-hundred rounds at a time and can fire up to seventy feet away.

Last of them is "The Scorpion V.3", a wooden crossbow that fires sticks, it has a range of thirty feet. Good for stealth because of how quiet it is.

As far as vehicles go, there are tanks known as the "Grizzly V.2" made from ride-on lawn mowers that have a large metal framed cube exterior and they're armed with a grenade launcher on the front and a machine gun turret on top. Its top speed is five miles per hour.

There are four wheeler's, which go thirty miles per hour.

There are motorboats, with platforms built on that have a grenade launcher turret mounted on them. They also have two machine guns on each side of the boat itself. All of which, makes the boats look like miniature battleships. Top speed is about twenty miles per hour.

There's an ultralight plane that can drop grenades and has a machine gun attached to the bottom. Top speed is thirty-seven miles per hour and the highest it can go is one-hundred and fifty feet.

There is a small unarmed helicopter that can go as fast and as high as the plane.

Finally there is the mini submarine, that Mark mentioned earlier, which fires Walrus torpedoes thirty feet through the water. The mini-subs top speed is seven miles per hour.

All the vehicles are only ever fueled up enough to go as far as one and a half miles and are designed by Doc, so that when hit in the right place or when explosions vibrate them enough, their engines will cut out and can't be started back up again, until Doc Otto resets them.

Though with the plane and chopper their engines won't die until five minutes after they've been hit, so that whoever's flying one of them has enough time to land, and on the plane the controls for the weapons lock.

Mark finishes summarizing, then stands up and says "Alright, twenty of you stay here and the rest, come with me. Let's go!"

Rod and Leo decide the safest place to be is probably with Mark, so they go with him. They continue down the path and go across the bridge.  As they walk along a stretch of the path, near the fence, Rod looks through the trees and sees, a little under half a mile away, across a field, a construction site. He asks Mark, "What do you think they're building over there?"

Mark replies, "Who knows?"

Eventually they approach a more heavily forested area, Mark crouches and everyone else does the same. They forgo the path and start moving through the bushes, as they get closer, they see movement, an enemy soldier with green arm bands. They're facing the Green Cabins.

The green team member patrols back and forth. As they move in, Rod prays that he doesn't see them before they get there. Suddenly, a stick flies out of the bushes from a crossbow and hits the Green in the back and he falls to the ground, feigning death.

One of their own comes out from the bush, reloading his crossbow. Everyone gets to their feet and they quietly rush in, while from the tree house above, that Rod didn't notice, a hail of fire suddenly rains down on them from a sentry with a Beehive.

Everyone ducks while Mark takes a shot at him. Two shots. The third time is the charm, everyone runs for it. Up ahead there are shouts from the enemy, now that they are alerted to the Red's presence. They emerge from the trees, into a solid wall of fire from the Greens. All around there are people from both sides falling to the ground and faking death as the Red team charges in.

One of the others tosses a Smoky, since Rod can hardly see a thing, he ducks behind a tree, Leo soon joins him. When things clear up, the enemy troops are all laying on the ground.

They get to the pier, where a boat carrying red team reinforcements arrives. Mark says "Alright boys, six of you stay here. The rest go back to hold the tree house. You, you and you come with me."

Rod and Leo stay to defend the pier, while some of them run off to the tree house. Mark, plus three others, rushes deeper into enemy lines. Minutes pass before anything happens, finally they see a tank rolling by in the distance, heading toward the tree house and the bridge. Two of their comrades run off to intercept it, one of them is Shawn, who shouts, "Leerooooy, Jenkiiiiiins!"

While the others are shouting at them to come back, Leo, looking out over the water, gets Rod to turn around just in time to duck for cover as a sub surfaces and the hatch is opened by a Green, wielding a grenade launcher, who dispatches everyone else on shore, before Leo shoots him. As that guy is being pulled out of the way, Rod and Leo run for the boat, when they get there they drop their weapons and take control of the ships turrets. Leo belts the sub with the Beehive, which doesn't do much good, then Rod uses the Badger cannon.

The grenade goes off in the water and the sub starts to sink. After a bit, the Greens from the sub drift to the surface, wearing life jackets. Once they've caught their breath, they pretend they're dead, just floating in the water.

Soon, Mark and one other guy run back, Mark holds the Green team's flag. Suddenly, an explosion goes off under the other guy, a landmine, but Mark just keeps on running, leaving the other guy on the ground behind him, scratching.

Mark asks "What happened here?"

Rod explains "That weirdo Shawn, and some other guy, ran off to chase a tank, then a sub surfaced behind us!"

"Drat! *Sighs* Oh well, let's get out of here!"

Mark starts the boat and they race across the lake. When they get to Port Island, Mark cuts the engine and they jump onto the dock and run across the bridge that connects the island to the shore and then through the trees to get to Hill Bunker. But when they get there, the tank they saw before is there, along with a half dozen Green foot-soldiers with Jeffrey Harty leading.

From their hiding place they watch as Jeff says something into a walkie-talkie, but there's so much noise they can't hear what he's saying. Mark mutters softly, "What are you doing, Jeff? What are you planning?"

From the sky they hear a buzzing, then a plane passes over. Suddenly, Rod says, "Here goes nothing!" and blasts the tank with a grenade as he and Leo charge in. Mark hurries after them, growling under his breath, "You dummies!"

Jeffrey sees them coming and ducks behind the dead tank. He pulls out a smoke grenade and pulls the pin, while saying into his walkie-talkie, "Look for the smoke!" then tosses the grenade to the other side and ducks back down.

The grenade lands and spews a cloud of smoke. Mark sees it and says "Jeff, you clever jerk."

Then the plane that passed over a minute ago swoops in and drops a bunch of bombs where the smoke is, right were Mark, Rod and Leo have taken cover.

The dust settles to reveal the three of them on the ground scratching all over. Jeffrey tosses a Stink Bug into the bunker. While everyone inside pretends to be gassed (which isn't hard, considering the smell,) the Greens put on their paint fume masks and rush in, in a matter of moments, Jeff and the rest of his men emerge with the red flag.

Jeffrey talks into his walkie-talkie and then waits. Soon a chopper touches down and the two remaining greens hop on. Jeff walks to where Mark, Rod and Leo are still itching like there's no tomorrow. He stoops down and takes back the green flag and says apologetically, "Sorry Mark, maybe next time."

Jeff jogs over to the chopper, hopping in the last seat and waves as it takes off.

Back at Red Cabin One, everyone changes back into their normal clothes and/or uses a spray bottle on any itchy spots, as Mark had explained, the itching powder doesn't work when wet.

"Now that's what I like to see." says a voice from outside of one of the screened windows.

Looking outside Rod sees a guy wearing jeans, a leather jacket and a blue fedora, chewing a toothpick. He has dark-brown hair, copper colored eyes and a five o'clock shadow, all in all, the guy looks and sounds like a character from a gangster movie.

"What do you want Mo?" Mark responds.

"I wanted to see the winners!" Mo says in a snide fashion.

"You wanna see them, go to the Green Cabins."

"Awww. You didn't win? Such a shame." Mo says sarcastically and walks away, chuckling.

"What was that about?" Leo asks.

Mark says, "Me and Mo have had a bit of a rivalry going on, pretty much ever since the two of us met."

"Why?" Leo asks.

"I'd rather not talk about it." Mark says, as he throws a dart over his shoulder, which lands dead center on the target attached to the wall... fifteen feet behind him.

That night, while everyone sleeps, Shawn stands by the edge of the fence, staring worriedly at the construction site, after a bit, he announces to no one in particular, "Doom."

Camoflunks - S1 - Issue 1: Boot Camp

Camp Adanarg.

Rod takes note of the fact that the “g” in Adanarg is slightly crooked. Of course, it doesn’t help that the letters seem to be simply glued to the moldy wooden sign hanging over the camp’s gate. Behind him, there's a pneumatic hiss from the bus that brought him there as it begins to drive off.

He watches it go until it is out of sight, then breathes a frustrated sigh as he turns his attention back to the termite nest of a sign and mutters, "Well Dummy, this is what you get when you tell your parents you want something to do over the summer." He shakes his head in self pity and makes his way toward the manager’s cabin.

Rod is thirteen, with longish red hair and green eyes. He is thin, but not unhealthily so. He is left handed and short, not that it matters much to Rod. Back at school, he was often teased about his height, at least whenever his friend Leo wasn't around. Leo is his best friend and about four-foot one, whereas Rod is four-foot eight.

As he steps into the manager’s cabin, he starts to think he is in the wrong place. Each thing he notices has absolutely nothing to do with what he saw before. One wall is covered with all sorts of Red Sox memorabilia, from posters to foam fingers to empty popcorn bins.

The next wall has what seems to be a map of the camp which has military tactical maneuvers scrawled all over. Last but not least is a closet door in one corner with a sign hanging on the knob that reads "DO NOT FEED THE LEOPARD!"

Just as he finishes taking all of this in, he notices a guy who could pass as a teenage version of any hot shot pilot from an 80’s movie or TV show, except for the green plaid shirt, overalls and work boots. Rod can't tell if the guy is a lumberjack, a farmer or just trying to make a fashion statement.

Rod turns around creeps to the door, hoping that he won't be noticed, so he could try hitch-hiking back home.

The guy gets up from behind a camouflage-painted plywood desk and asks if he can help him with something.

Rod sighs and turns to face the guy.
"Yeah, I just got here and I wanna know where I'm gonna be staying."

The guy, whose name tag says "Jeffrey Harty", grabs a clipboard off a nail on the wall and asks, "Name?"

"Rod Thomson."

"R-o-d T-h-o-m-p-s-o-n, right?"

"There's no ‘p’."

"Really?"

"Last time I checked, yeah."

Jeffrey quickly scratches out the “p” and says, "Cutting it a little close, aren't we? Any later and you would've been locked out!"

"Missed the earlier bus and then this one broke down on the way here."

"Again?! Sheesh, when are they gonna replace that thing? Oh, and red cabin one."

"What? Oh, red cabin one, got it." Just before Rod goes out the door he stops to ask, "Which way?"

"Left at the graffitied outhouse...I think."

"Um...okaay."

Behind the manager’s cabin, he finds a dozen outhouses scattered around. Lo and behold, the second furthest one has graffiti scratched all over it. The most notable messages being: "U mad bro," "Kilroy was here" and "WARNING Radiation Hazard!"

To the left of it and about a hundred feet away, stand cabins one, two, three, and four each with a red roof and door. He makes his way over to cabin one, up the wooden stairs and steps inside the door to find only one person inside, an African-American guy about as old as Jeffrey, with short spiky hair and brown eyes, wearing black denim jeans, a red t-shirt and sneakers.

"Name's Sanders, Mark Sanders," he says while throwing a dart at the target hanging on the wall and hitting the bull’s-eye. Not taking his eyes away from the target, Mark asks, "You new?"

"No, I'm thirteen!" Rod says sarcastically, grinning like a fool.

"Good! A sense of humor!",  the 16 year-old says. "You got a name, new guy?"

Rod smugly replies, "Thomson, Rod Thomson."

Turning around, Mark says, "Well, Thomson, guess I ought'a give ya the grand tour."

Dropping his things by an empty bunk, Rod follows him out the door.

Mark tells him about how the cabins are separated into 4 groups of 4: red, blue, yellow and green. Each group has an appointed leader, who is 15 or older.  Mark, as it turns out, is the red leader. The blue leader is Mo Pellagrini, Mark’s rival. The yellow leader is Joe Spivy and the green leader is Jeffrey Harty, from the manager’s cabin.

He shows Rod the baseball field, the cafeteria and the nurse’s office, where Rod meets the nurse's assistant, Mo's younger sister, Maggie. Maggie is pretty, not the stereotypical sort of prettiness generally attributed to nurses or their assistants, but pretty, nonetheless. At first glance, you'd think she's the depressed goth type: purple hair, indigo eyes, pale complexion, silver lipstick, a purple and black striped long sleeve shirt, gray short skirt, dark red leg warmers and high-heeled boots. Her behavior, however, says otherwise. She is constantly smiling and when she walks, it's more like she's half walking, half skipping.

Mark said, "Hey Maggie, where's your mom?"

"She's at a doctor's appointment... health problems, you know."

"Sorry to hear about that."

"Oh, don't worry. Her doctor just has her going on a diet and needs to check up on her every so often." Maggie says, waving her hand in a reassuring manner.

"Glad to hear it. For a moment I was worried it was something more, serious."

"Na' she's fine."
She steps in front of Rod and leans in so her face is inches from his and asks, "So, what’s your name, honey?"

At that moment, Rod’s face turns red as a tomato and the only thought in his head is "Name? What name?"

Thankfully, his mouth remembers for him, "R-Rod T-T-Thomson."

Maggie’s smile grows wider and Rod’s face redder.

"Well, it's nice to meet ya, Rod."

Then Mark asks, "Uh, Maggs, do you know where Coach is?"

Straightening, she says, "Probably down by the lake."

"Thanks! C'mon, Rod."

Before Mark closes the door, he sticks his head back in says, "By the way, I'm sorry I missed your birthday party yesterday.  How old are you now?"

"It's ok, Mark, honey. I'm 16."

"Hey, you’re as old as your brother."

"Only ‘til his next birthday, you know. Thanks for remembering, though."

Outside, Rod is coming back to reality and asks, "Why did she call me ‘honey’?"

Mark shrugs, "She calls almost everyone honey."

"Okay."

They head down towards the lake, where Rod notices the fence which goes around the lake and seems to surround the entire camp. Pointing towards a sign on the fence that reads "Beware of alligators", Rod asks Mark, "Are those signs for real?"

"Yeah, there's another lake nearby that has a huge alligator population."

Rod swallows nervously and again considers the possibility of catching a ride back to town.

Mark calls out to the guy sitting in a lounge chair by the shore, "Hey, Coach! We got a new recruit!"
As they drew closer, Rod sees that Coach is a guy about 50... maybe 60 years old with gray hair and eyes, decked out in camo and unsurprisingly, a Red Sox cap. Coach looks up from the book he's reading, which Rod notices is Ulysses. Coach smiles, "Hiya slugger! What's your name?"

"Name's Rod Thomson, Sir."

"Sir? That's my dad, young man. You can call me Coach."

"Ok, Coach. Nice to meet you."

"Glad to see new faces this summer. Seems like there haven't been that many in last the few years."

Rod ponders the rundown appearance of the camp and considers suggesting that some sprucing up might help, but thinks better of saying so on his very first day at camp.

Shrugging, Coach opens his book again. "See you later, boys."

They continue on their tour passing an obstacle course and eventually they get to a small shack surrounded by a bunch of junk and scrap metal. The sign over the door says "Lab." Inside, every kind of mechanical equipment imaginable lays strewn about among a dozen half-finished projects. At the back stands a guy in his thirties who looks like he's stayed out in the sun too long more than once. He has black, greasy hair; gray eyes and is wearing a lab coat over a grease-stained tank top, jeans and Nikes.

"Oh, hey Mark! Who's your friend, there?"

"This is Rod, one of the new kids."

"Glad to make your acquaintance. The name's Billy Otto, but you can just call me Doc. Oh, you know, since you’re here and all... Mark, could you tell Ernie that everything's ready for tomorrow?"

"Sure thing."

"See ya later, guys!"

Mark and Rod start back toward the lake. As they walk, Rod asks, "What exactly is Billy’s job here? Who's Ernie and what does he mean by ‘ready for tomorrow’?"

"Ernie is the manager. Ya know, Coach. He used to be a coach for the Boston Red Sox and he never lets us forget it. As far as the Doc goes, well, every week we do a small battle between the teams. Sorta like paintball, except we use acorns as ammo. Doc Otto’s job is to make the weapons, equipment and vehicles. Also, he makes sure that they keep working."

Wide-eyed, Rod asks incredulously, "Acorns? Really? And this is supposed to be tomorrow?"

"Yep!", Mark says with a huge grin on his face.

At this point, Rod really wants to leave, thinking to himself, "These people, are, crazy!"